In the past, I’ve been one of those people that goes all in when trying something new. I’d be crazy about whatever it was for a while, and then burn out on it. One day, I’d just be done with whatever I had previously thrown so much effort into, before.

Consequently, I have a graveyard of stuff I was once enthusiastic about, and then at some point, decided against it. I have a Food Saver and some of the supplies; I swear, I was absolutely crazy about sucking all the air out of packets of whatever food I was going to throw in the freezer, just knowing that months down the road, I’d be thankful I cared about prepping that food properly… only to throw out the stuff that made its way to the bottom of the deep freezer a couple of years later.

And then, perhaps, a buss.

And the diets? Oh, dear. I remember counting Weight Watchers points with my mother as a teenager, and mixing crushed pineapple with Alba (a chocolate weight loss drink) and then freezing it as a treat. I remember some wild diet that involved eating can after can of tuna, and then dropping off of it when the friend who suggested it said it made both she and her husband sick. There have been any number of programs I’ve tried over the decades, and still, I had to start over at my absolute heaviest weight in the fall of 2013.

Did those diets fail? No, I did — I failed to stick with them, find the right thing for me, commit myself to a change in lifestyle. I failed because those things I chose weren’t sustainable in the long run. Many of the things I did were more like punishment than changes in lifestyle, as if I deserved to suffer because I had gained weight.

When it feels like punishment, that wall that stands between myself and success might as well be the Great Wall of China.

Now I’m on course for adding exercise back into my daily life — literally, one step at a time. I enjoy walking, especially outdoors. Instead of thinking of it as exercise and something I must do, I’m feeling really good about walking. It wasn’t that long ago, after all, that a simple trip to retrieve my mail from my box at the street meant grabbing my cane and wincing with every step.

I’m adding to my step goals gradually; a little more every week, but even this early on, I can tell a difference. I’ve lost enough weight that the amount of time I can be on my feet before my knee pain bothers me is longer, and that ratio will hopefully continue to improve; the more weight I lose, the more steps I can take.

Perhaps it’s perspective that keeps me happier while walking. After all, I very clearly remember how much my daily routine has been changed by dealing with chronic knee pain. I know how often I feared going anywhere that was unknown because I felt my limited ability to walk governed my activities.

Being able to walk with less pain is a gift to be treasured, appreciated, and maintained. There’s a spring in my step that hasn’t been there in a long time — and I’m looking forward to improving. There are no more drastic changes the burn bright and then fizzle out. I’ve traded them in for incremental changes that I can live with.