19 Pounds of Fish

I’ve changed my weekly weigh-in day from Wednesday to Friday.  It just works better for me, and I’m all about whatever works better.  I’m happy to report that after 6 weeks, I’m down a total of 19 pounds.

In my mind, I never feel like I’m really committed until I’ve passed that 20 pound marker.  I always get a little nervous when I’m around that number, as if something’s going to come along and wreck it for me.  At the beginning of the year, I think I got to a 23 pound loss and then drifted away from the effort.  I derailed myself when it didn’t seem that the effort I was making was working.  Of course, that’s nonsense, and I know it; even if the scales don’t move, there are other changes going on that aren’t necessarily visible.

I think, too, that I was frustrated with weighing myself down at the gym, and seeing that 3 at the beginning of my weight.  Anyone who has to deal with passing a century mark in weight knows that total frustration with the numbers; not to mention, how many jokes are there out there that make fun of 300 pound women?  Well, I was one.  I’m not, now.

Still, I’m on the verge of that 20 pound mark again, and I am determined to sail right on by it and into greater numbers.  My second weight-related goal lands at a loss of 28 pounds, and I have 9 to go, which is totally achievable.

Six weeks in, I’m finding that I’m doing quite well with my eating plan, and it’s still effective, although I am cautious to review and make sure that what I’m doing is working.  It’s time, though, to add exercise into the mix, which will start next week.  Overall, it’s been a successful 6 weeks.

While I feel I’m making good strides, I’m still in that no man’s land where only a handful of people know I’m making the effort to lose weight, and that point where someone who isn’t aware of the effort makes the observation.  That moment is both scary and rewarding; while I don’t necessarily live for it, I like when people recognize the effort.  At the same time, that recognition commits me even more to continuing the effort, or be totally embarrassed by giving up.  But then, that’s also the point of this blog.  Public commitment is a big motivator.