I’m still amazed — and proud — to be writing here that I’m in Week 28 and doing well.  At least until I have to make some adjustments, the whole program is doing well at the moment; I’m in a good exercise routine, my food is on the mark, I’m drinking plenty of fluids, I’m getting a decent amount of rest.

Which makes for really boring reading, if you’re following this blog. 😉 So, I’ll include Phase II on here; and in a way, while Phase II is more about getting my organizational mojo back, that also includes weight loss and health.

By nature, I’m a very organized person, but you wouldn’t be able to tell it, looking around me.  I live in disorganization, and I despise it.  So why do I do it?  Honestly, I’m not sure — why do so many of us squelch parts of us that bring us satisfaction or joy?  I want to change that.  When I’m more productive, whether it’s in my business or personal dealings, I’m just happier — and more successful.

Perhaps that’s the tie-in with weight loss/health issues: the one resounding theme that keeps coming back to me during this effort is that I have a fear of actually accomplishing the things that I want to accomplish, and I need to deal with that.  I’ve done a lot of thinking of being afraid of “thin”; it’s change, it’s the unknown, it’s a hundred thousand things that I allow to shake me up, and really, I have time before I’m thin.  It’s not going to happen overnight, and that’s mentally a good thing, because one thing I dealt with when I lost 140 pounds was a dysmorphia; I didn’t see me the way others saw me.  I was still Fat Lisa, and that’s not what others saw.

I’ll revisit that at some time in the future.  For now, I’m working on thinning out the work load so I don’t feel overwhelmed, because that seems to be one of my failure mechanisms. When I allow that to happen, I fail.  So, I’m taking small pieces of things I know need to be accomplished, and working on them.  For now, I’m not worrying about the rest.  I’ve managed to pull my dietary/exercise efforts into control and manage them; now, it’s time for the rest.