What the heck, I could have sworn I wrote here on Monday.  Well, I have enough here for two posts, anyway. 😉

The matter at hand: I’m wearing my goal pants. They fit. I may even decide to wear them out today, since I have some errands to run.

It seems appropriate that I’m calling them a fit, because I weighed this morning — usually it’s the other way around, but I have follow-up blood work (thyroid panel) today, and I want to track my weights from doctor’s visits.  They’re supposed to weigh me today. My updated loss total?  MyFitnessPal rounded it off to 44 pounds, but in actuality, it’s 43.5. I’m taking it. That’s 7.5 pounds in six weeks. As a side note — I’m not happy with the fit of the goal shirt, yet, so that’s going to continue onward.  I’m only going to weigh when the goal pants fit.

There’s a few things related to this whole weighing business.  First, I admit I had some expectations of what I’d see on the scale, this morning, because it felt like I’d lost more.  The fit of my clothes has felt noticeably looser just in the last couple of weeks.  So, when I saw that it had only been 7.5 pounds, I immediately felt disappointed.

Only.

That, my friends, is why I don’t weigh very often. My brain gets all tied up on that number, despite what every other indicator is telling me.  That’s just nuts!  I felt bad about it this morning, to the point that my workout dragged a bit, and then I started to realize a few things.

I’m a slow loser. Any loss, whether it’s on the scale or otherwise, is cause for me to be happy.  On top of that, three weekends out of the six weeks since I last weighed have been extended weekends.  Typically, I’m on a 5 day schedule of very low carb, low calories, followed by a 2 day schedule of low to mid level carbs and higher calories. For three weekends, that weekend schedule was extended to three, and in one case, four days.  That would most certainly have effected my ability to lose, but I lost, anyway.  So yeah, I’ll be happy with those 7.5 pounds, and I need to get it out of my mind that my rate of loss will be in any way predictable.

I think probably all of us do that; it’s the mental argument that goes something like: if I weigh 290 now, and I lose at a loss of 10 pounds a month, then by next July, I’ll weigh…  If only that worked!  It doesn’t.  Sometimes that loss may quicken, and sometimes it may slow, and for no apparent reason.  This all goes back to accepting myself as I am, right this minute, today, and kick out those not good enough self-judgments.

The good news about actually knowing the number, today, is that 44 pounds is more than 40 pounds.  While I’m working my brain around not dwelling on the scale, I also admit that 40 has long been a mental barrier; it seems to be the number that people start noticing my losses, and that if I stop before that number, I don’t have to commit publicly to working on my weight and health.  I can’t tell you how many times the diet brakes have been slammed on, over the years, just before that 40 pound loss was a reality.  From that standpoint, I’m glad to have jumped over that number and landed firmly on the other side.

Also, people have started noticing my loss.  There have been a few comments here and there.  The good thing about being deeply entrenched in my methods by the time people notice is that I can just about expect some well-meaning soul (or five) will ask me what I’m doing and then suggest that there are better ways.  Why they do this when I’ve already successfully lost using my chosen method is beyond me.  Obviously, it’s working, or they wouldn’t have noticed the weight loss, right?  While there’s been no one, yet, to question me about my methods, I have enough practice from the eleventy billion previous attempts on telling them that I appreciate their concern, but since my method is working, I’ll continue to use it.

Finally, I’m going into the holidays with a good attitude.  I’m looking forward to coming out the other side and being way ahead of the New Year’s resolutionists.