Right now, I feel like I’m in limbo.

Don’t worry; it’s not that I’m off my plan or anything like that.  I’ve just gotten a bit set in my ways, and when something happens that throws me off my schedule, I sometimes feel ungrounded.  That’s the feeling I have, right now.

You may have noticed that I didn’t write my normal post last Friday; partly because it was the day after Thanksgiving, and partly because I’m still without goal jeans.  I’ll be picking them up this Friday.

So, it was a long weekend; I chose 4 days of higher carbs/calories, and while it wasn’t a failure by any means, it wasn’t a total success, either.  There were a couple of times when I ate far too much and felt bad; not just emotionally, but physically bad, as in bloated and uncomfortable, but that didn’t stop me from repeating it the next day.  (We routinely have two Thanksgivings.)  I ate more than I should have.

My punishing brain is already convinced that 4 days of higher carbs and calories has surely resulted in a regain of 44 pounds.  It sounds ludicrous to even type that out… which is why I typed it out; sometimes, my brain needs a dose of reality.  It probably doesn’t help much that I’m without goal pants at the moment… and that I came down sick with some sort of intestinal crud on Sunday night and have felt rumbly and uncomfortable since then.  I have on my loosest, biggest jeans right now because of it.

I guess the good side to intestinal cruditis, if there is one, is that there was no choice about getting back on plan yesterday; it was a very low calorie day, and thanks to that, it was easier to pick myself up and move on.  Sugar is a huge trigger for me, and I had more than I should have over the weekend. By no means was it a binge, but sugar makes me hungry.  Unreasonably hungry, like 30 minutes after dinner hungry.  So when I’ve eaten too much sugar (and that doesn’t even need to be much), I spend the next day regretting it and wanting to eat the furniture.  Thanks, crud. I didn’t have to go through that. 😉

Regardless… I’m not very comfortable in limbo.  I haven’t exercised since Wednesday; the plan was to resume yesterday, but getting in a gym pool with intestinal crud isn’t the smartest move.  Tomorrow will be a week, and I am bound and determined to get myself back down to the gym.  Must. Have to. Want.

The truth is, I don’t have to be in limbo, or feel like it.  I’m grounded.  I’m living well.  I’m dealing with today, and that’s it.  I need to stop bothering my brain with thoughts of failure. So far, I have done well, and I plan on that continuing.