Good news! I finally broke through to a new low: I’m now 48.6 pounds down, and happy to have returned to losing mode! I’m so close to 50; I’ve used the analogy, before, of being on a journey, and finishing the first leg of the journey. Mentally, I suppose that means I’m checking exit signs on the highway for the right exit, and I’m on Exit 48.6. 😉 Please enjoy the photo of the lovely 48 pound lab to illustrate my loss to this point.

48 Pound Lab

I’m close to a lot of things at the moment; close to 50 pounds down, close to leaving on vacation, close to the next leg of my journey. When I stepped on the scale this morning, I was hoping I’d magically be that lovely 50 pounds down, but was still quite happy to see my new low. I also had a bit of a new experience; the scale I own is also supposed to calculate body fat percentage, among other things, but it has never done that for me. This morning was the first time it showed those numbers, so the great news for me, on the brink of moving into the second leg of my journey, is that I have new data to track my progress. That’s great news!

I’ve been in planning mode; mostly for vacation, since we’re heading to Cozumel, again, in roughly three weeks. I feel somewhat apprehensive about this, but all I can really do is accept my situation and do the best I can with the abilities I have at this moment.

I’m nervous about the normal things most people facing a trip out of the country think about; but I’m also anxious about fitting in an airline seat (which is quite painful at this weight), bothering an unknown person next to me, getting where I need to go on time, coping with small things like getting up and down out of transport vans. My mobility is and will remain an issue for some time yet, and I have to build up my mental strength to not be degraded by my limitations.

Two years ago, it was our last trip to Cozumel that triggered my decision to give up my weight loss efforts. I was somewhere around 70 pounds of loss, then, and had such high expectations that I had a tremendous mental let-down afterward and gave up. I fear this most of all, because I don’t want to be in the same place again. I don’t believe I am; I think I have a clearer idea of my abilities, this time around, and am doing whatever I can to make sure that when I return, I’ll be back on the road to improving my health.

There’s a much used cliche out there that says “failing to plan is planning to fail”. It’s true. I have to do whatever I can, over the weeks to come, to make sure I have taken care of my limitations in such a way that I can allow myself to enjoy the trip, and then use it as a springboard to my next set of goals.

This last week, I took my mother in for a cataract surgery consult. Something I told my mother also sunk in with me, and I need to remember it as I move forward. We’d been discussing the decision to move forward with surgery, and I told my mother that she’s in pretty good shape right now, and she should consider that when making the decision to get surgery. The assistant said that her health was fine, and that there are certainly lots of patients who are in much worse physical condition. She could afford to weight if she wants. That wasn’t my point at all; rather, I want her to fully enjoy life while she’s physically able, which includes sight. I think it’s better for her to enjoy seeing well while she can still get out and about.

The same goes for me. I am dealing with physical limitations because of my weight. We all have a finite amount of time on this earth, and I am wasting my lucky allotment of that time, the longer I stay fat. That’s the truth of it; I have it in my ability to change it, and the sooner I do, the more I can more fully enjoy my life.

It’s out there — waiting for me to catch up. The rest is up to me.