This has been a winning week.

My mother’s been a lifelong Cubs fan, from when she was young and listen to the games on the radio with her father, in a rural town in central Illinois. The Cubs games were always on tv when I was a kid, and baseball (and later softball) has been an indelible part of my life for as long as I can remember. I had the fantastic experience of being with her and sharing their World Series win. They beat 108 years of history as well as the other team. 😉

There’s a lot of ways to win and take stock of what’s great in your life. This past Wednesday, I passed a neat little mile marker on my journey; I logged into MyFitnessPal for 500 days straight. That’s not the entire length of my diet — there were times I forgot to log in, or strayed off the path and didn’t log my food for weeks at a time, fighting with myself about whether I was doing things right or if I wanted to keep trying. If you miss a day of just signing in, the counter resets, so 500 straight days is a challenge.

500 days of logging into MyFitnessPal!

[Note: ignore those numbers on my summary. I was halfway through that particular day, and MFP won’t let me change my caloric goals.]

I’d be lying if I said I actually logged every bit of my food for those 500 days — I didn’t. But it became important to me to at the very least acknowledge my journey every single day, even if I was on a vacation and not recording my food intake. Sometimes we need a reminder of staying the course, and the accumulation of 500 days is pretty momentous. Vacations are when we tend to want to forget these kinds of commitments, but I see it as a way to acknowledge that part of my life. It doesn’t just magically disappear because I’m camping on a lake for a week.

I’ve won in other ways, too. My daughter came to visit for my birthday a couple of weeks ago and brought me a pretty big stash of clothing. She’s been losing weight as well, and she offered me the clothes that are now too big for her. This is a first, folks; there were certainly times I gave her clothes that were new (or nearly so) because I’d gained weight and didn’t think I’d ever have the chance to fit in them, again, so they became hers. Now, she’s returned the favor several times over. Everything I’ve grabbed to put on, so far, has fit — and that’s quite a victory.

These are Non-Scale Victories — NSVs. They’re just as much markers of the right path as the number on the scale or the measuring tape. In some ways, they’re even better; most of us just don’t go around, sharing the number on the scale or how big our waist is, but wearing smaller clothes is a large and concrete marker of success.

A tiny fear always lurks when I pull out something I haven’t worn, before. I’ve pulled out clothing to try on so many times and failed that I suppose I’ll always live with that fear something won’t fit… until I zip up those jeans or pull on that top or dress. More often than not, these days, things fit; and when they don’t, it doesn’t discourage me. I know they will. It’s part of my life that I’ve accepted as certain, even in times when weight loss is slow, as it is, now.

I will always live with shadows of a long past as an obese woman. It may take a very long time for me to lose those echoes of a larger body; a timidity about changing simple things, like the kind of shoes I wear, for instance. Today, I bought some low heeled pumps, and felt like a five year old girl playing dress up. It’ll take longer for my brain to be comfortable with the idea of them than my feet!

I take my victories where and when I can. Evolution and complete change is a slow process, but a sure one.