If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you already know the stats: I’ve been at this for over three years, and my initial goal was to lose around 200 pounds. I’m roughly two-thirds of the way to that point.
Notice, though, that I don’t call that loss a goal, because it’s not. It’s just an evaluation point. Sure, there are weight charts that suggest my ideal weight, but I’m not going by those. According to even the most lenient chart, I should lose another hundred pounds. Realistically, though, I’m shooting for another sixty to seventy pounds. I’ll see then how my body feels and reacts.
What’s important to me, now, isn’t some unattainable ideal body weight, fat percentage, or size; it’s my relative health. If I reach a point that’s still above those horrid weight chart suggested numbers and I am perfectly healthy and able to do everything my body is designed to do, and I feel happy at that point, that’s where I’ll start shifting my focus to the next phase of living.
This is part of the many mind shifts I’ve had to make during this process, and it’s a part that most people — especially this time of year — overlook: there is no end date to this weight loss journey. It’s a progression from one phase, where I’m actively losing weight and learning how to live with the changes, to another where I can maintain and adjust.
Thinking there’s a beginning and an end to dieting is just a set up for failure, and believe me, I’ve done that enough times to know! My hips have inflated and deflated like an accordion. Ending a diet is the beginning of putting the weight back on and just another arc in the circle.
If you want to break out of the cycle and make it stop, you have to accept that effective change means permanent change. There is no reason to pick a hard date and believe you must have a set amount of weight off in a certain amount of time — and conversely, no breaking point where you must start torturing yourself to lose weight. I’m speaking to you, New Year’s Day Dieter! Don’t set yourself up for failure by making everything black or white.
I started this long journey by faking it until I felt it. I didn’t dive into this journey all gung-ho. No, I dragged myself into it, knowing I needed to lose weight, without a single shred of faith in myself that I’d achieve it for all the times I have failed, with strangled tears when I saw my starting weight. I dreaded the progress photos. I told myself I’d treat myself right, but I surely didn’t feel it.
But small increments add up. Small efforts become big efforts. Small adjustments make big differences. On Day 1, I could not have imagined that I would still be going on Day 1206 — and 133.4 pounds less of me. When I first started, I would have hoped to have reached my final point already. Now I accept that whenever I reach my evaluation point doesn’t matter. What matters is that I know without a doubt that I will reach it.
Do I know where I’m going to? Well, no — I don’t. I’ll know I’m done losing weight when I reach a point where my body is working efficiently and I feel good and healthy. Right now, I’m just guessing where that point is. How long will it take? I have no idea, but I know I’ll get there.
Thanks for being along for the ride.