Sometimes, it’s not about weight loss. Sometimes, it’s about getting your head on straight and finding some equilibrium.
That’s what I’ve been facing for the last week or two. I’ve been doing well, finding a nice rhythm — when I hit a few roadblocks. They have little to do with weight loss directly; much more to do with the way I process challenges and threats to the things I value.
Wait, *what*?
One was a work situation that was beyond my control, and the cards went against me, at least for the time being. The other was a threat to something I really enjoy and just recently have added back into my life: music. Both were matters that were in the hands of other people, and I’m old enough to know (… most of the time) that I can’t control other people.
But I can certainly choose my reactions, no matter how trying they might be. That’s where these situations have needled their way into my brain space and, as a result, I’ve struggled to maintain in control of those things I can control. What I shove in my mouth, how much of it, and how much I move — those things are always within my control. Somewhere in my brain, I still have a bit of leftover wiring that short-circuits. Stressful situations have nothing at all to do with food, and I’m not *usually* a stress eater, but I have been this past week or two.
I hate it. I’ve known I’ve been doing it while I’ve been doing it, and done it anyway. It’s not that I’ve flown totally off the wagon and snorted cupcakes; no, the food I’ve been eating is perfectly legal under my food plan — just far too much of it. And you know what? Eating too much didn’t relieve the stress or really even make me feel any better — things I knew before I ever over-ate.
No, what really made a difference is thinking and digesting the situations at hand and how to handle them to my best advantage. Both are really still very much in the works, but after actually challenging myself and looking for solutions instead of dreading consequences, I am at least closer to finding some peace. And that’s what is most important.
When that balance is off — when I allow that balance to teeter and become lopsided— one of the side effects is that ever-widening ripple that affects much more than just the simple matter at hand. Getting in control of those situations quicker and not backing off solutions has to become more second nature for me; when I’m tired and busy, I let that guard down, and that’s when small ripples from pebbles turn into tidal waves.
Regaining balance takes constant attention and the desire to maintain it. These are lessons I apparently still need to learn. I need to shake it off and move forward instead of getting hung up.