Raccoons are evolved opportunists.
As many years as I’ve been an avid camper, I thought I had learned all their tricks; apparently not! I am writing this week’s blog from the shores of a lake at a state park, where I’ve been for the past week, enjoying my food (and brain) vacation. Really, the most stressful thing I’ve dealt with all week has been the raccoons and other opportunists.
This particular campground is overrun with them, and midweek, when the campers tend to thin out, the raccoons are… well… exploring all available possibilities. We had already been here for several days when a raccoon the size of Jabba the Hut dumped the trash over not three minutes after I’d gone inside the camper. Hubby usually takes the trash before he heads to bed, so it was before our regular time. Captain Camp Dog was just inside the camper, and I suspect Jabba saw the opportunity and seized it.
Not me. I like pizza with EVERYTHING.
Jabba or his brethren had already been inside a friend’s cooler, robbing it of grapes but leaving lettuce and carrots. (And firmly closing the lid when done.) The trash invader returned about midnight, when my husband found him on top of our outdoor camping refrigerator (standard apartment fridge), trying to open it from the top. He didn’t get in, but he also didn’t seem to care about the sack of potatoes that had been left in easy reach for the last few days.
The next night, sitting fireside with Captain Camp Dog at the ready, a younger Jabba warrior kept approaching the campfire just after dusk. I shined my cell phone’s flashlight at him and he scooted up a tree, yellow eyes glowing in the dark watchfully. Five minutes later, he was about 25 feet away from me and creeping up. He did this several times, despite the Captain’s stern orders to stay away from the perimeter or risk The Plank (Schnauzer-speak for “I Will Bark Until I Lose My Voice”), finally snagging a lone piece of bread that had been pulled out of the fire ring by previously marauding crows.
In addition to this, a squirrel bit through the end of a loaf of bread left on the table while we swam, giving up tail hairs on a nearby fly strip for his efforts. The remaining bread was thrown into the fire ring as a result, the crows pulled out bits of bread while we were out of camp, and the raccoon got the remainder. Something else decided the dry corn kernels inside the bags of our Baggo set were tasty.
Squirrels and ducks have been as close as 5 feet away, hoping for a handout all week. We don’t believe in feeding wildlife human food, at least on *purpose*, but the little opportunists certainly got more than their fair share out of us on this trip. We’ve been putting up everything within sight, only to realize what was forgotten when they show up to invade, again.
I find it odd, though, that other than the dried corn, the things these animals all wanted were things they would never get in their natural world (except for the grapes). Bread, meat, dinner leftovers in the trash? Oh heck YEAH! Potatoes, lettuce, carrots? No, we don’t want healthy veggies, thanks!
One internet search on raccoon dietary preferences reveals what I already know: they will eat pretty much anything, including catfish bait my husband accidentally left out on our last camping trip.
In fact, they seem to be a lot like humans.
Good old Jabba the Hut Raccoon got that way because he’s a successful camp invader, and his portly self prefers human food (in the FRIDGE!) over readily available veggies. Not unlike us! Given a choice, he’ll eat garbage instead of what’s likely more correct for him. Raw potatoes? Not when there’s bacon and hamburger in the fridge! Meanwhile, the poor Captain has had to endure dog-healthy meals of things I know are safe for her. She’d rather be a raccoon, I suspect.
We are hardly the only creatures that will choose things that aren’t good for us, despite supposedly being more evolved. Carrots, or cake? Are we raccoons by nature, bound to shove our faces full of goodies if they’re available? Maybe so!
Monday, I return to proving I’m higher up the evolutionary ladder and choosing foods I know are good for me. I’ll be making the conscious effort to resume my weight loss efforts and push ever downward. But in the meantime…