When I first started this weight loss journey over four years ago, I said I was tired of first days of diets.

Although I see my current experience as a full lifestyle change, since going back to the way I lived before means I will sacrifice every physical, mental, and emotional gains I’ve made over the duration, it occurs to me that every single day is actually a first day of sorts.

Every day, I wake up with choices. I can get up, weigh myself, commit to eating the right things during the day, take the first step toward a step goal. Or I can get up, skip the scales because I suspect it’s not what I want to see, grab what’s easiest for breakfast, ignore the voice inside that’s chiding me for not making the right decisions for myself.

Every meal, every opportunity to move, every sip of water, every step toward health is a choice. My journey isn’t one huge effort; it’s a long series of small choices, made every single day, that culminates in an ongoing improvement to my health.

Start now.

The fallacy with many diets is that they tout a beginning — and an end, as if it’s one continuous commitment that can be left behind once the final goal is achieved.

My experience has taught me the opposite: this is a series of beginnings, and as long as I draw breath, there is no end. There is no final goal. It’s a process that draws me as close as possible to where I want to be, and after that point, the work continues. The choices and the consequences of those choices do not stop.

Now, the longer I go on, the easier those choices are. Choosing not to eat the two bags of Cheetos that I know are just a few feet away is a much easier choice now than it was years ago. The same with going out for a walk, since my walks are no longer endurance contests for how long I can go before pain sidelines me. The pain is still there, but it’s not the same.

The process gets easier. It struck me the other day that although the first time I lost 140 pounds was much faster, the amount of time I was able to maintain before I started gaining (and finally giving up) was, in total, about the same amount of time I’ve been on my current (and hopefully last!) journey. As I go on, I compare a lot with that journey, and it is an astoundingly different process for me these days, especially mentally.

I got to a point where I was so desperate for change, back then, that a good chunk of every single day was dedicated to exercising, walking, maintaining a regimen so severe that the quality of the rest of my life suffered. I may have felt strong (and was certainly stronger then than I am at the moment), but if I wasn’t working, I was working out.

This time, I’ve surpassed my old loss — a feat I originally thought was impossible, especially considering the physical issues I faced at the onset — but the quality of my life far exceeds those days. My days aren’t just about concentrating on losing weight. I not only have the ability to work, to care for my loved ones, but also enjoy parts of my life I thought were gone, including music, simple joys like knitting, and just enjoying what life brings.

Finding a balance in all of these things makes the choices I make each day far easier. Every day may be a start day, but the rewards far exceed the effort.