Another feeling I’ve experienced since my 6th anniversary a couple of weeks ago, more so this week than, perhaps, ever: disbelief.
Among the reasons I failed and regained all my weight (plus more!) over a decade ago included stubbornly refusing to consider changing what I was doing, despite espousing the belief that I should always be a scientist on my own behalf. I may have said it, but didn’t internalize it. In short, I refused to consider changing up things to see if I could pinpoint where my issues were.
I have been much more flexible during this journey. I’ve adapted, reviewed, talked to doctors, received feedback and recommendations. I’ve recognized that the more tools I have in my arsenal, the more likely I am to be successful, once I move into a maintenance phase. I’m beginning to see what that’s going to look like, too.
After some experimentation, I’ve found yet another tool and have managed to start losing weight, again. I also met with my primary care physician for my annual wellness check earlier in the week and had a great report; my numbers are pretty darned impressive. I’ve managed to reverse many of the precursors to debilitating illnesses and I’m slaying that multi-faced dragon of metabolic syndrome.
I knew my numbers would be good. I had hopes of coming off one of my medications, but my body isn’t quite yet ready; we’ll review again. That was really the only even slightly negative part of the visit, for me, although all it means, in reality, is that I’ll just have to wait a little longer. Look how long I’ve already waited; a couple more months is nothing at all. Time takes on a different perspective when you’ve been at this as long as I have.
I’ll also put out there that I have been looking forward and planning on how I will handle moving into maintenance once I reach a certain point in my health. My goal has been to improve health markers as much as possible. My doctor and I discussed that, and essentially, the only health marker that’s any sort of concern is the one I am still on medication for. There’s the possibility that I may need to remain on it, but then he surprised me.
I asked for his input on when I should consider my goals done and move into maintenance. I haven’t asked him this, before, and he’s been my doc for the entire time I’ve been actively working on this goal. I told him my thoughts related to gearing my results on my health, referencing the numbers before both he and I, and I also mentioned the rumor that my health insurance provider will soon be requiring a BMI less than 30 or insured people will have to take mandated weight loss classes. He laughed just a bit at that. The idea, at this point, of having to take a weight loss class when I’ve lost more than half of my body without their help is just funny.
I told him the number that would get me under 30 BMI. He said that was a good number for me, despite that putting me in the overweight* (instead of obese) category. He said that to lose much more than that would be an unreasonable expectation; that he can tell when people are nearing their goals, and by looking at me, he firmly believes I don’t have far at all to go.
What a great thing to hear! Honestly, while I’ve been kicking around these thoughts for quite some time, having them confirmed by my doctor seemed surreal. I can’t tell you how many times I have been in the doctor’s office in tears because I felt powerless over my weight. Or how many times I have wondered if I’ve just convinced myself of something that wasn’t at all true.
Friends, that suggested final weight is less than 15 pounds away. I’ve become one of those people who “just have 15 or 20 pounds to lose” — that might have been me when I was a teenager, but certainly not me any time in the interim, even the last time I lost a bunch of weight. I used to want to throat punch people who have said that in front of me when I quite obviously had many times that number to lose. I’d smile, but inside, I thought oh, please! Just shut up, already!
It’s also on the other side of a 200-pound loss; just for reference, take a look at that cute critter to the left (that happens to be dangerous, despite looking like something out of a cute cartoon). That’s all that stands between me and weighing 200 pounds less than when I started. My intent had always been to lose 200, not that I really believed it.
(And yes, if you’ve been a reader for a while, you may remember that I used to do weight comparisons for what I’d lost — until most of the images were of other people’s weight loss. So now, when nt weight chances, I’ll show you what’s left to lose.)
Hearing him say that left me in disbelief. I expected to be told differently, I realized. After all, I’ve been told that any number of times previously by different medical professionals.
Now? I believe in miracles — ones I’ve actively worked hard to create. You’d better believe it!
*Two factors regarding shooting for a span of “overweight” instead of the time-accepted height/weight ranges:
- Studies now show that being overweight (as opposed to obese) in older adulthood can lead to better health and a longer life.
- While there’s no way to be sure without surgery, the estimate of excess skin on my body is likely between 20 and 30 pounds, so any final weight has to accommodate my actual body weight without excess skin.