On vacation, I did the fun stuff — hanging with friends, listening to music, enjoying yet another adventure in places I’ve never been, before. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience; from the weather to the surroundings to the events to the food. And oh, was there ever a lot of excellent food!
We’re not sure exactly how it happened, but the cabin I was in was tagged as VIP. I swear, nearly every evening when I returned to the cabin, there were food gifts; fruit, sweets, savories, all from the cruise line. What a thing for someone that’s lost nearly 200 pounds — all the food you want! That, along with several VIP-type invites. To say I was spoiled is an understatement, and if I had wanted to, I could have gone to some events I’ll likely never be invited to, again. But I didn’t. I needed something entirely different.
To say I wasn’t all that happy when I stepped on the scales after leaving the cruise is also an understatement, but I also expected the result. That’s just the way it is; if I take a food holiday, I have to pay the piper, which means working once again through pounds gained. I could beat myself up and say I could have made better choices, but I was fully aware of the consequences of my choices when I made them. I enjoyed the food, the drink. I feasted, and now I fast; both have a place in a balanced life.
That’s a much better response than knowing food vacations will cause weight gain, not accepting it, and choosing to never go back on plan. Been there, done that, and couldn’t fit in the t-shirt because of it. Understanding consequences is a necessary level of acceptance and progress.
Part of this trip was also about introspection; I had a cabin and time to be with myself, quiet moments by the water, just thinking and letting the stresses of real-life leave me. I felt a lot of things, especially as my birthday came and went while at sea, realizing that I’m aging more than I realized. Losing weight is great, but it also has the effect of removing the support under my skin, and my wrinkles are becoming more prominent. I am not a vain woman, but it did catch me by surprise when I saw my reflection in the stark outdoor light.
At one point, I found myself feeling anxious — and then realized that what I was feeling was just the absence of noise. Some run from that silence; I need it. Sometimes, it’s absolutely necessary to find ways to eliminate the noise of reality and to allow me to simply feel and work through whatever happens to be on my mind without interruption. Reality and all the challenges I’ve faced, lately, have prevented me from having that ability to tune everything out and listen to my own inner voice. To figure things out. That’s an important part of my process in working toward success, and one I haven’t fully embraced, lately.
Eliminating the noise of life brings out the music that we sometimes can’t hear until we silence everything else. And the sound of silence can be everything we need to heal.