Good news, friends — I am now closer to my weight-related goals. Despite the stress I have been under, I have remained in control of one thing: how I treat my body. And sometimes, in these strange days, that becomes the one thing that keeps me sane. I have now lost a total of 203.6 pounds; a mere 6.4 pounds away from a significant check-in point for my health.
My mother continues to do poorly, and without going into detail, I have not yet been told her prognosis as of this writing. I learn little pieces of information here and there. Not just because of this pandemic as it rages on, either — an ice storm has complicated things around here, and may very well be compounded by snow next week. (Not to mention, a federal holiday on Monday.)
This is The South; we don’t do cold and snow, let alone ice. We just don’t. It complicates everything, delays news, strands workers. I’ve been advised to be patient while I wait for news. It’s all that’s really within my power to do at this point.
I do not wait well. I am not a patient person. I want news. I want it now. I prefer to know what’s happening and what’s about to happen at all times. And I’m sure you can well imagine that’s an impossibility. Especially with a pandemic and an ice storm.
My current situation is one I have no power to change. I have done everything I can to prepare; not just for what’s happening with my mother, but for addressing what seems to be never-ending paperwork for her, and juggling two households. That has included rehoming my mother’s cat, who seems to be pretty happy in his new digs. I’ve also charged up technology, but since our electricity was at risk with an ice storm that thankfully was much milder than predicted, we fared well. My mother’s home has been prepped for abnormally low temperatures, as well as our own home. I’ve packed, I’ve cleaned, I’ve moved things.
Oh, yeah, and I have a business. Let’s not forget that as well.
The Serenity Prayer has reminded me that I need to worry less about things outside of my control and work on changing the things I can. In that light, a friend alerted me to an opportunity to volunteer my time this past Monday; in the middle of all of this, I will honestly say that volunteering was at the bottom of my list. I have been rather frantic about spending every possible moment available trying my best to juggle my life. Volunteer? NOW?!
But I took the jump. Sometimes, you just have to listen to your gut and go with it, and although I had some qualms, I fought them down and volunteered.
I spent several hours on Monday answering phones during a Covid vaccine clinic, and because of that, I was able to receive my first vaccine shot. I will volunteer again on the same day I receive the second shot; both are already planned. In the meantime, I remain committed to lowering my risk (and afterward, too).
In the middle of what often seems like infinite chaos and stress, I was challenged by this opportunity; my husband is an educator and receives his second shot tomorrow. For me, my day will come in another couple of weeks. We have battled to remain Covid-free, and while that fight continues, this is a big burden we can hopefully decrease. I only wish I’d been able to get the shot for my mother. Her body remains ravaged in Covid’s cruel aftermath. At least for myself, getting the vaccine was something I could actively work toward, and my sincerest thanks to the friend who urged me to volunteer as she did.
The absurd thing is that having gone through the effort of losing 203 pounds and regaining health resulted in putting me in a later vaccination class. Had I remained morbidly obese with complicating health issues, I would have been at much higher risk and therefore in a higher vaccine classification. I believe the same holds true for the person who introduced the volunteer opportunity to me. But I am truly thankful for getting the chance to volunteer, and I look forward to doing it, again — not just for the obvious opportunity to be vaccinated, but because it’s an area where volunteers can make a difference.
Making positive change during chaos has helped me fight off the pull toward downheartedness. Yes, I cry. Yes, my heart is heavy with fear for my mother as well as anger at circumstances over which I have no power. But when all else seems bleak, the effort I put in to giving has been returned to me exponentially.
Right after my volunteer slot, I was able to visit my mother in person, talk to her, tell her I love her face-to-face, even though my heart was breaking as she looked right through me. I’m doing what I can to change her situation, finding it difficult to accept what obviously cannot be changed.
Wisdom often comes when you don’t expect it.