If you’ve been reading this blog the past few weeks, you know a few things: that I have an important appointment coming up in a matter of roughly 11 days, that I want to lose a certain amount of weight before that date, and that I have yet to get back to my low weight.

Here’s what you don’t know that’s throwing a curve ball into all of this: although I’ve lost some of the weight I want to lose, my weight has been more stubborn than a mule. It keeps dancing around one set point no matter what I try to do to break it. Normally, I wouldn’t worry too much about it, because I know that it’s likely something hormonal that’s holding me back, and as long as I keep doing what I’m doing, it’ll eventually solve itself.

That’s all well and good when I don’t have a deadline, and I do have a deadline of sorts. Although I know that seeing my knee surgeon will likely go in my favor regardless of a number on the scale, I still have a point to prove to both his physician’s assistant, and to myself.

Red, white, and blush — definitely good therapy.

I also have my annual wine fest and birthday — this weekend. This is one of those rare times that I usually incorporate relaxed eating into my plan so I can fully enjoy myself, knowing that the consequence is that I’ll gain some weight I’ll have to re-lose.

I honestly don’t know what to do this time. I do plan to watch what I eat a bit closer than I would on a normal year, but I admit that I fear the fallout, and that although I have a little more than a week to take off what I gain, my weight has been abnormally stubborn lately. It’s one of those times that I really don’t know what decisions I’ll make until that moment arrives.

I do know this, though: I have plenty of non-scale victories (NSVs) ahead of me this weekend. Last year, I still walked with my cane, and while I was able to get around the grounds of the wine festival, it was still a challenge. This year, my cane won’t be making the trip with me. I can walk easily just about anywhere I need to go, despite the terrain, and I think I may even be able to take a walking tour or two this time. The distance between areas isn’t the issue it once was. I can also look at their shaky plastic folding chairs that they use for their dining tables and feel just a bit more confident that I’m not going to cause damage.

We’ve reserved dinner in a restaurant that’s built in an old wine cellar; it’s well over 100 years old, and while some things have obviously been modernized, it’s still something that I wasn’t willing to take on a year ago. Stairs can still be quite daunting for me, and will be until after both knees are replaced, because my knees don’t bend to the degree necessary to take on stair treads that might be higher than normal.

This is a matter of short-term rewards versus long-term goals, so I admit I’m a bit anxious about navigating all of it. This is life, though; had I stayed in the same place I was over four years ago, not a single thing I’ve mentioned in this post would be possible — not walking the grounds, taking tours, or even considering the possibility of knee surgery, so it pays to ground myself and remember that.