I have a tattoo on my shoulder. I had it done a number of years ago, after the first time I lost a lot of weight. It’s a colorful chameleon. Why? Because I firmly believe that change is always possible.
But sometimes I seem to forget that. I underestimate myself. While I think I have a fairly accurate mental image of myself that matches the physical, I don’t necessarily recognize my own abilities.
This week, for instance. I finally achieved the goal I wrote about last week and I’m on my way to the next one: a truly special one in another 11 or so pounds. Since I just passed a goal, I took progress pictures, as well as some comparisons to the last round of progress pics, and even some old ones. Being sure that the mental and physical realities of my body actually match is important to my success, so I take the time to measure and compare these things.
Yet, I lost track of my own abilities.
When I was in the doc’s office a couple weeks ago, talking to the physician’s assistant, he made the comment that I certainly had a lot of arthritis on both of my knees. Nothing I didn’t know, right? And then he asked me how much pain I’m in. I told him that actually my pain is well under control and I really don’t experience much in the way of debilitating pain.
The look on his face was priceless. It wasn’t what he expected to hear at all. But then, the average person going in for knee replacement is at least 15-20 years older than me, and often older people will simply back off of anything that causes pain. That’s not my circumstance.
I explained to him how much weight I have lost, and that while I had been barely able to walk and cope with the pain when I was at my heaviest, the pain I experience now is minor and manageable. Not to mention — after dealing with this for a number of years, I know my limits and don’t stress them.
Then, it occurred to me that he needed me to tell him that my arthritis was in some way limiting. And it is. While I now walk around 5500 steps a day, I can’t do long periods of walking or standing. My knee locks and buckles. I do have limits. I definitely still need knee replacement surgery. But I admit it was sort of a gas that he obviously thought I should be much worse off than I actually am.
I have a FitBit and I walk daily; and this week, entirely by accident, I joined a challenge. I hit the wrong thing and boom — there I was. So what the heck — I accepted an invite for another one. I’m in two of them. I’m still just walking my 5500, which in my mind, was a measly amount of walking. After all, FitBits are automatically set to start you at 10,000 steps a day. I started at around 1500 a day early last year. I’ve been thinking for quite some time that the number of steps I take a day is a feebly low number.
The funny part? I’m in these two challenges with people who are younger than me and don’t have the hindrances I do — and I’m not last. I’m certainly not in the lead, but I’ve actually been neck and neck with people, right on their heels, passing people. How the heck did this happen?! I’m 7 weeks away from total knee replacement, and I’m passing people? This rocks!
Not accepting a fate that people expect for you is a great challenge. Because change is always possible.