Amazed

Last week, I started talking about the things I’ve been feeling since my 6th anniversary of starting my journey to better health. Then, it was the guilt I’ve felt over not having done something to help myself sooner; so much has changed for me, including rising out of depressive episodes that were no doubt based on physiology that has now been corrected, including accurate diagnosis of hypothyroid. Any of you who have been through that fight know how difficult it is to get the medical community to seriously consider it, use the proper tests, and then accurately monitor dosage.

Today, now that my 6th anniversary is in the rearview mirror, I’m happy to tell you that I’m amazed. I’m amazed to have made it this far. I’m amazed to have a variety of tools I can use to help me as I move into my maintenance phase. I’m amazed that I’ve done this without any number of prepackaged meals, products, or programs. I’m amazed with the sheer amount of learning I’ve done — not just about my own physiology and how it reacts to various input (food, exercise), but about the workings of my own brain, which has strengthened me to a point where I can say with confidence that I know I will meet my goals. And mostly, I’m pretty amazed that I’ve remained tenacious and haven’t given up!

Amazed, I tell ya!

I am amazed, at this writing, to be one mere pound away from my previous low weight. I did some tweaking recently, and it worked; not only has the weight I recently gained dropped off, but it’s done so quickly, and I learned some things from the experience. It also helped me land solidly back on my path; I hadn’t strayed, but I’m human and I do fight frustration when my body doesn’t act the way I want it to act.

Earlier this week, I had my annual wellness labs done. I’ll be in the doctor’s office on Monday for the rest, and to review the results. I have no doubts that the numbers will be great. And to think, six years ago, I hated going into the doctor’s office; I would end up crying in frustration over my weight, and the doctor couldn’t really offer me much in the way of solutions. I had to find them on my own.

And, quite honestly, I’m glad now that I had to find my solutions on my own, and fight for them. I firmly believe, looking back over the past six years, that the quality of the results I’ve had are directly related to the quality of the work I’ve put in. I didn’t get to this point by stubbornly adhering to only one belief; I did that, once, and while my loss was good, it eventually stopped working because I didn’t truly understand why I stopped losing. Instead, I got frustrated and gave up. Mind you, that was after a two-year stall, but I still finally just gave in instead of researching why what I was doing was no longer working. Seriously, even with two knee replacement surgeries, I haven’t had stalls like that! Why couldn’t I recognize that I needed to change something? I said, even then, that we should all be scientists on our own behalf, but I didn’t put those words into action.

I was spending at least two hours a day in exercise; walking and weight lifting. I was in my 40’s and could squat my former weight of 340 pounds. (Keep in mind that is not now my all-time high.) The truth is, though, that you can’t exercise off weight; what you put in your mouth won’t be fully expended in the gym. Not only wasn’t it working for me — I was hurting myself by pushing ever harder. I ended up with injuries. But I stubbornly adhered to my diet, knowing it wasn’t working, and hoping my body would just cooperate. It didn’t. But it sure did pile on the weight once I stopped.

This is the biggest reason why I don’t share publicly how I have lost weight; I solidly believe that the best rate of success is a result of finding your own path and being willing to experiment. Read. Be open to new concepts, or old ones that have come to light. Educate yourself. Try. Be flexible. Be determined to find something you can live with long term.

Then you, too, can be amazed.

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