My goal pants are consistently getting just a tad closer to fitting each time I put them on.  I really like the feeling that gives me.

Last year, about this time, I bought a lightweight jacket; it was just the tiniest bit snug when it arrived, and I lost a few more pounds after I got it, so by the time I fell off the wagon last year, it fit okay.  Not perfect, but okay.  Then I fell off the wagon and put weight back on, and couldn’t wear it when I needed it.  Yesterday, I tried it on again, and it’s very close to wearable; it’s a little tight in the upper arms, which is where I had the problem last year.  I think, though, that as long as I stay on course, it’s going to fit just fine when the weather cools off.  Here, that’s still a couple of months off.

Also, last year, I was buying things with the intention of fitting into them later, and then I let doubt creep in.  Now, I’m totally okay with things being a little snug, because I know with confidence that it’s just a matter of time before that article of clothing fits.  It may not be tomorrow or next week, but it will fit.

So far, I’ve gone a full month further than last year; but mentally, I think I’m far beyond that point.  I re-read some of my posts in the last few weeks of last year’s effort, and I noticed several things; key among them was allowing myself to be sabotaged, and that I was scale-obsessed.  I was giving reports of gains/losses and why I thought they happened, and that’s where my focus was.  I allowed myself to become frustrated, and I can see, looking back, the signs of impending failure. I blogged through Week 16, but I think I mentally jumped off around Week 12.

I also seemed to be hung up on whether or not other people would notice my loss, and whether I could just stop before they noticed.  Boy, was I ever playing head games with myself!  Granted, it’s nice when people notice, but I’m in the mindset right now that I just don’t care if or when they notice.  I’m not doing this for them, and I don’t need their validation.

It also serves as a reminder to me to be mentally diligent; every time I’ve lost weight, I’ve believed that I’ve done better than the previous time, and yet, if I’d found the answers, I wouldn’t be where I am right now — losing the same pounds I’ve put on numerous times before.  I think I’ve learned something each time, but the one thing I have to really get through my brain is that my brain controls everything: whether I’ll eat something off-plan, whether I’ll get out of bed to exercise, whether I’ll talk myself into a state of mind that makes backsliding easy.

I’m glad I made the decision to keep those old posts in this blog.  They’ve served their purpose.