I’m down an additional .4 lb from last week’s weigh-in; that’s not enough to tip my weight ticker, but it’s enough to say I’ve legitimately lost 37 pounds, now; 37.2, in fact. I’m thankful for every small bit. While losing the equivalent of two sticks of butter won’t make a difference in how my clothes fit, all that adds up.
I don’t have much in the way of a report this week, or even words of wisdom; some weeks, that’s just how it is. I don’t have any particular frustrations I’m dealing with (yay!) or victories I can claim, other than the simple fact that I’m still here, still working on losing weight and regaining health, still plugging along — which is a victory of sorts, and a big one. Each day that I can keep at this effort is a victory.
I’m in normal springtime lust mode. My ready-for-spring brain is calculating how many pounds I can lose before warm weather sets in, and what I’ll be able to wear this year. It seems like I have clothes in every size, just waiting for me to be able to fit into them, again — and if I’m lucky, I’ll be the right size in the right season. If the clothes are still in style, it’ll be like winning the lottery.
Well, maybe not quite like winning the lottery, but close enough.
That’s a gift I gave to myself this year. Last year, at this time, I knew I was likely gaining weight. I wasn’t making an effort to lose, and the cute clothes I’d bought for the previous summer weren’t fitting. I secretly dreaded warm weather, because that meant shorts, and bathing suits, and bare arms; not that I’m ever crazy about those thing as overweight as I am, but I place my personal comfort over style and will wear them, anyway. But when I’m not in weight loss mode, I feel even more mortified about wearing these things than I normally do.
This year, even though I will still be bigger than two summers ago, even though those cute clothes probably still won’t fit, and even though I will still be mortified to be bearing my flab to the world, I know inside that I’m making the effort to improve. That, alone, is a weight off my shoulders.