Dude throwing a 56 pound weight. I’m sure I’ve had the exact same expression, just toting around the 55.8 pounds that are now gone.
Amazing. It’s been an entire year that I’ve been on plan! And as of today, I’ve lost 55.8 pounds.
I’ve been on diets for longer than a year, before. I don’t necessarily consider that an inhuman feat, but it hasn’t exactly happened often. This is probably the third — perhaps fourth — time in my life that I’ve stayed on a diet plan for more than a year. And usually, several times during the course of the journey, I’ve been tempted to just trash the entire thing.
Sometimes, it’s because my mind wanders into dangerous territory, reminding me of the things I miss about not being on a restricted diet. Sure, there are foods I love that are not part of my diet; my program is carb-restricted, and I dearly love things like soft pretzels and just about anything dealing with potatoes.
The more dangerous times are when I am frustrated, and lose sight of why I made the effort to lose weight in the first place. I get wound up in my head, feeling as if my efforts don’t matter, and I might as well just give up. And, especially in combination with yearnings for foods I miss, those are the times I fall off.
Of the longterm diets I’ve been on, this one has produced the slowest weight loss, which you would think would send me into that treacherous land of frustration. Surprisingly, that hasn’t been so. In fact, perhaps slow loss has contributed to a healthier state of mind this time around; instead of being the normally obsessed and it-has-to-happen-now dieter I’ve been in the past, I’ve had time to adapt and contemplate.
Sure, there are times when a plate of fried potatoes covered in bacon and onions sounds pretty awesome. Now, in fact — that always sounds good to me. But I don’t feel frustrated by slow weight loss. I feel secure and strong. I don’t approach what I do from the angle of deprivation; at times, I have the foods I love. I just don’t go overboard on them and let them rule my thinking, because in the long run, my life is not about food.
The gift I gave myself a year ago has been remembered. I walk easier, I breathe easier, my clothes fit better, and my mind is centered. I’m not where I want to be, yet, but I know that each day brings me closer to my destination, and in another year, my plan is to be reviewing this coming year with as much hope and progress.
As great as my physical gains have been — and they are noticeable, each and every day — I believe my biggest gains have been mental and emotional. My life isn’t what it was, a year ago. Not that it was bad; it wasn’t, at all, but I’ve found the ability and courage to do things that I felt were beyond me, then. I’ve made important changes, looking for things that feed my mind more so than my body, both in my career path and personally.
I’m not just Lisa-on-a-diet. I’m Lisa, relearning what it’s like to take risks and find joy in both old and new things. That’s really the biggest gift I gave myself a year ago, taking that first day’s step, and wondering if I’d still be at it in a year and a day.