Or at least… the way I was, which was off plan, even though I had convinced myself that I was adhering somewhat to plan. And I was — but not nearly enough. I’m working on small steps to get back in the groove of things. The reward? I’m down a couple of pounds for the week, although still above my low weight.

While the famous Streisand song is more about reminiscing, and I suppose I do reminisce about the fit body I have had a few times over the course of my lifetime, my emphasis is more on returning to the discipline that resulted in the previous successes I’ve had. I firmly believe that no matter what plan you’re working, the key to it is discipline; being wishy-washy just doesn’t cut it.

This week, I’ve been working on really watching my food intake and recording it. I haven’t been good about recording every last bite, but even partial recording leads to assessment and more careful consideration. I’ve made some progress, and as I head into a big event weekend, I’ve already given some thought about how I’ll approach my food (and alcohol) intake, so I can mitigate the weekend’s damages. I already know and accept that I’ll have to work hard to compensate next week.

As I head into next week, I plan on focusing on more discipline in my food intake; I find that the more I feel in control over exactly what I’m doing, the less I struggle. Even if the world is flying apart around me, I know I have control over this one thing. To use a cliche, it’s empowering; when I don’t feel good about myself overall, at least I know I’m doing something good for myself by being in control of my eating. That sense of satisfaction spreads to other things, and allows me to bring more parts of my plan under control.

So that’s the plan for right now — it’s been a long slow loss, but I’m not done, yet; not by any means.