Long and Winding Road

 

The highest point in Arkansas is Mount Magazine; it’s a flat-topped plateau with rock cliffs, and driving on top of it provides quite a scenic view of the surrounding area. There’s a lot to see and experience, as long as you’re willing to stop and take in the view and surroundings.

Take in the view — and then move on.

Inadvertently, I’ve found myself at a scenic overlook in my weight loss. I didn’t intentionally mean to stop losing weight, but that’s where I’ve been for the last couple of months. I have faith that I’ll continue the journey. But I’ve also come to the realization that I haven’t wanted to move on from this place, just yet.

I’m no stranger to weight loss and the hard work required to continue it. I knew a point would come where I would need to change directions; I reached that point, and didn’t change. I’m well aware that for the next stage of my loss, I need to bear down and work through it. I will do that — but I’ve also come to realize that there are good reasons to be where I am, at this moment.

My brain hasn’t totally caught up with my body; not its size or current capabilities. Just last week, I packed bathing suits for a trip that turned out to be too large; embarrassingly too large, to the point where there was no way I could wear them without getting arrested. I still find myself wearing clothes that are too large, and clinging to things I should release.

I’ve nearly stopped myself from doing things which I’m capable of doing. It’s been nice to discover that this body can do things, now, that it hasn’t been able to do in years — but it’s been just a tad scary, as well. I have to overcome that level of discomfort.

In short, there are things I need to learn, and realizations I need to accept. Mental hurdles to overcome. So while it might appear I’ve been standing at a rest stop, I believe now that I’ve been staying here for a reason. I’ve been at this place, before, not knowing what laid on the path ahead of me, and not prepared for it. This time, I will be prepared for the changes ahead, because I know them.

In the past year, I’ve lost (another) 60 pounds, and the changes that came with it far exceed any changes I experienced during the first 58. As I move on from this mental place, those changes will accelerate even more. It’ll be time, soon, to step forward and continue on that path and come down off the overlook.

 

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