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Pants Try-On: Week 13

Jul8

There are no significant changes in how the try-on pants fit, but I would have been shocked and pleasantly surprised if there was.  I’m only two weeks in on this pair.  Even if I lost two pounds a week, a four pound loss on a 300+ lb. woman is barely over 1% of body weight, and not likely to be visible, unless I lost four pounds in my chin.  😀  And I’d take that, believe me!

Otherwise, things are going good.  I completed another successful workout week, despite not being able to exercise on Monday because the gym was closed for the holiday weekend.  I added time to three of the four sessions, so I made up the lost fifth session.  And I learned that my body just isn’t quite ready, yet, for hour-long workouts, particularly swimming laps.  On Tuesday and Thursday, I swam 50 laps, which is 4000 feet, or over 3/4 of a mile.  And believe me, by lap 50, I was done.  Still, I’m proud that I finished yet another week, and my body needs the weekend rest.

Last week, I started adding in some calories.  I did this because I had let my daily calorie intake drop far too low; my energy levels were declining.  So, I added about 200-300 calories a day back in, and I’ve noticed a difference.  I think I had hit a point of diminishing returns; the possible extra loss of decreasing several hundred calories a day was offset by not having the energy to do anything else.

My body is doing well.  Yes, my knees still ache, but I’m still a big woman.  The candida patches behind my knees are gone, I have more stamina, I’m able to just move easier, get up from the couch and other seated positions easier.

 

Week 13: The Tough Month

Jul5

For right now, July is my tough month.  There are a lot of things going on this month that require my attention.

The first has already passed; I needed to get through the holiday weekend.  I did cycle up three days instead of two, and am back to my normal pattern today, but I have to admit that I’m hungrier today than I would normally be after a two day raise in carbs and calories.  Mind you, when I increase carbs and calories, I never do it with sugar; any sugar just makes me ravenous, so I stay away from it.

The second was yesterday; not only was it Independence Day, it was the end of three months on this journey.  Woohoo! A quarter of a year, behind me!  That’s pretty special!  I’m proud of that.

The next is vacation; we’ll be heading out the last week of July, and I am undecided, yet, what my approach will be.  I think I may treat the days like moderate carb/calorie days, because I really want to enjoy my time, including food, but also don’t want to feel powerless and bloated when I get home.  I don’t feel good when I eat the wrong thing or just overeat, even if everything I eat is within my program.  So, I’ll be considering strategies that will help me enjoy myself without harming the distance I’ve come so far.

And finally, the end of this month will mark 16 weeks on this journey.  My last journey lasted 16 weeks, and then I drifted away.  I am determined to make sure I stay firmly entrenched so my progress continues.

It’s gonna be a tough month, but I’ll be proud of myself when it’s done.

Pants Try-On: Week 12

Jul1

I selected a smaller pair of jeans, last week, after calling the capris a win.  I tried them on just now, and I really can’t tell any significant difference, but it’s pretty early in the game for that.  Still, I’ve posted every Friday and every Monday, so I’m going to continue with that.

I think I also posted that I took one of the two pair of jeans that fit and made them into cutoffs, and also sewed up a rip in the seat.  They are most definitely shorts that I will only wear at home, especially since my handiwork might decide to part and I’d be flashing undie-color-of-the-day to unwilling victims.  I’m mentioning them, though, because I’m wearing them right now, and if I ever need to remember that I have come some way in losing weight, I just need to put them on.

When I started 12 weeks ago, I could wear the jeans, but not comfortably.  They bound at the waist.  I couldn’t wear a belt with them, because frankly, too much of my bubble butt was above the belt line.  I made sure I wore long shirts that would keep me from doing the plumber thing in public — and these jeans are the normal jeans that sit just a little below the normal waistline.

Now?  I’d have to wear a belt to keep them from sagging down.  There’s no plumber issue when sitting; the back of the jeans sits at my waist.  When standing, they’re loose at the waist; several inches loose at the waist.  They’re turning into dumpy pants. 😀  Yay for dumpy pants!

Still, they’re comfy, and that’s why I’m wearing them.

I’d also like to talk about the upcoming weekend; it’s a three day weekend, and I’m not sure what our plans are.  I’m not going to stress myself out over it; it’ll probably be like a normal weekend food-wise, with perhaps an extra day for allowing myself hard alcohol.  Unfortunately, the gym is taking a three day weekend, so I’m more concerned with working out a way to make sure I get my exercise time in next week.  And I’m glad that I’m worried about it, because there was a day when I’d congratulate myself on the gift of having one less day to work out.

That’s it until Monday… well, probably Tuesday next week, although Monday marks three whole months.  Have a great weekend!

Week 12: Doing Good!

Jun27

Wow, Week 12!  I’m almost at the 3-month mark.  Hard to believe!

I’ve managed to shove my automatic OCD thoughts about the scale out of my brain.  This really is a big accomplishment, because it’s been historically easy for me to convince myself that the number doesn’t matter, only to start giving up a little at a time; skip a workout here and make an excuse, eat a little extra there.  I’m feeling pretty solid these days, and that’s huge, people.

I also chose my new try-on pants; they’re size 24 Riders, and I have worn them in the past.  I won’t have to lose as much for them to fit; I was able to zip them up and button them, but they’re tight, a bit all over, but especially in the upper thigh/crotch area.  I’m continuing a 6-week “Skinny Pants” challenge, and I think these pants won’t be so overwhelmingly difficult to get into; the capris were so tight when I first tried them on that I could barely get them up, let alone trying to button and zip them.  This pair should show some results, and it should be more rewarding.  Plus: no slimming panel. WIN!

Exercise is paying off.  There are things I was able to do this weekend that have been difficult for me in the past.  I didn’t do them easily, but the fact that I could do them at all is noteworthy.  Sometimes I get frustrated with exercise, because it seems like it’s still hard to get around, and that’s true; but having stuck with exercise consistently has paid off.  Although it’s still difficult for me to stand for really any period of time, I’m able to walk around and do tasks for much longer than I was able to just a few months ago.  It makes me feel a bit more normal.

I like where I am right now.  I think as long as I stick to my guns, the weight will continue to come off.  Yes, it’s a slow process, but eventually, I’ll get to my goal.

Pants Try-On: Week 11

Jun24

I have lots to report today.

First and foremost, I’m considering my try-on capris to be conquered. I can and will wear them out and about, and while the blasted slimming panel is sucking my gut in, the facts are that I was able to button and zip them immediately after taking a shower.  Now, friends, that’s a challenge for any pair of jeans.  😀  I will select my next try-on pants some time later today, once I try them on.  I’m sure you won’t be surprised when I share that they will be a pair that I have worn previously.

I had made myself the deal that I would only weigh when I reached a pants goal.  I’m considering today the day, and as you should be able to see by the ticker in the upper right hand corner of this page, I’m recording a loss of 17 pounds. I’m choosing to accept it, because that’s where I am right now.

The following is yet another reason of why using the try-on pants method and staying OFF the scale works for me.

I got on the scale at the gym, expecting a 25 pound loss.  A fair expectation for 11 weeks of work, and I’ve been a really good girl with food and exercise.  Especially exercise.  So when I saw a net 17 pound loss, instead of being happy, I was disappointed inside.  And then my brain started working.

One thing I don’t believe I shared about my initial weigh-in was that my wounded ego didn’t like the first reading I got on the scale.  It was somewhere in the neighborhood of 345-347; I don’t recall the exact number.  I weighed a second time and got 334.  In my mind, I really wanted it to be the lower number, but in retrospect, I’m not sure that lower number was correct, for a few different reasons.

First, I weighed on a standard scale, like you’d find in a doctor’s office; the kind where you have to push weights over and balance them.  This is down at the gym.  My personal scale doesn’t read above 300.  (Imagine the ego buster it is to weigh on what’s basically a public scale, where anyone passing by can see your weight, if they’re nosy. The horror!)  If you’re familiar with that kind of scale, you know that the biggest bottom weight is the 300 weight notch, which is the furthest one to the right.  It’s possible, though, to push the weight beyond that point, by a fraction of an inch.  But because it’s based on balancing those weights, pushing the weight beyond the notch results in a lower weight.  And I think that’s exactly what I might have done. 😐

I might have saved my ego a blow on that day, only to feel cheated after making a big effort to bring that number down.  Either way, it’s a mindf*ck.

Secondly, a 28-30 pound loss makes more sense, because us big ladies know it takes losing a LOT of weight to go down one size.  I was barely able to get the capris up past my hips; today, they’re buttoned and zipped.  Normally, for my body, that would require more than a 17 pound weight loss.

Now, all this really proves is how quickly I can get hung up on the numbers.  That initial number does not matter. It’s not where I am, today, and the only purpose it serves now would be to fuel my ego by reporting a higher loss.  That number doesn’t mean anything compared to the better fit of my clothing, my ability to move easier, and the number of improvements I’ve had in health and body issues during the past 12 weeks.  In fact, that number pales in comparison. It’s just one more unit of measurement.

So I’m sure you’re asking — if I knew there was the chance of a mindf*ck, why did I weigh?  Well, for one thing, I am tracking calories and exercise, and those things hinge on knowing a BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate).  I’ve been guessing for 11 weeks.  I’ve been guessing right, or I wouldn’t have lost any weight at all, but it’s still better to have some sort of number to base calculations on.  Even those calculations aren’t necessarily correct, because everything is relative to how my body actually processes energy, something I really have no way of knowing except for guesswork.  But it does at least give me some markers to use for steering myself in the weeks and months to come.

And for another, I knew eventually that I would need to deal with it so I can move on.

Regardless of any number, any size change, any other unit of measurement, this much is clear: I am smaller and healthier than I was 12 weeks ago.  That’s indisputable.  In another 12 or so weeks (or however long it takes to get to the next goal pants… and maybe shirt), I’ll be able to say the same: I’m smaller, I’m healthier.  And friends, that’s really truly what it’s all about.

Week 11: Coasting

Jun20

I admit that this week, I feel like I’m just coasting.  Late Friday, I came down with some sort of stomach virus, and it has taken a couple of days to just totally shake feeling crappy, so even though I’m on track with food and exercise, I’m just sort of apathetic at the moment.  I’m going through the motions and I’m not particularly excited about anything, but the truth of the matter is, I’m tired.  I’d probably feel a might bit perkier if I weren’t wanting to crawl into bed and sleep for a few more hours.

Overall, I require less sleep these days, which is good.  I’m getting up every morning and going in for pool work; it’s becoming habit to do it.  I’m eating well.  I’m just not feeling that spark at the moment, and days like these will come and go, so I’m not particularly worried about it.

I am happy that I’m at 11 weeks.  Any time I first start a weight loss effort, I just hope I’ll stay on it for the long term, and I know that at some point, I’ll look back and think “wow, have I been at it for that long? Go, me!”  So, 11 weeks — Go, Me!  I think in my mind, I want to pass that 16 week mark, but considering that I topped out at 28.5 lbs and then started gaining during that 16 week effort, maybe I’ve already mentally passed that mark.  I’m not warring with myself like I was, then.

Later this week, I’ll finish a 6 week “mini-challenge” based on wearing skinny jeans and getting them to where they’ll fit better.  I suppose my capris fit better than they did when I started, but not by much.  Still.  I’m making other sorts of progress that aren’t measurable by anything other than me paying attention, like requiring less sleep, and being able to swim 40 laps without stopping.  There are just some forms of progress that I have to be happy with the knowledge of change rather than being able to show something tangible for it. Anyway — I digress — I may well weigh on a legit scale on Friday, just so I know where I’m at since it’s the end of the mini-challenge.

Moving forward… onward and downward!

Week 10: Try-On Pants, Episode 92582345235252

Jun17

Well, at least it seems like it’s been that many times that I’ve tried on those capris!

I’m wearing them right now.  I decided to give it a whirl.  They feel fine everywhere except the dreaded and infamous slimming panel.  So, I’m gonna wear them for a few hours and see if the fit changes.  I had planned on doing this before, and just never did it.  I have a pile of clothes to wash and these are clean, which is probably just as good a reason as any.  I can breathe in them, which is definitely good news; I won’t be dying of oxygen deprivation because of this experiment. 😀

My conclusion: I’m losing weight, but not in my stomach.  At least not recently.  I have lost weight in my butt and legs; the capris fit fine there.  I think mentally, that has thrown me off, because even when obese, my waist tends to be out of proportion with my hips; if I get something to fit in my hips, it’s usually too big in the waist.  It’s quite unusual to be the other way around, but not impossible.  Not to mention, nothing says that I’m losing weight in the same places that I have, previously.  That nasty menopause is right around the corner, and my waist just might not drop as much or as quickly as in previous attempts.  Regardless, I’ll live with it.  I have to, don’t I?  It’s just where I happen to be, right now.  It’s not where I’ll be in another month or year.

I also decided to weigh myself this morning.  Never fear… it wasn’t a real weigh-in; my home scales are digital and won’t weigh over 300 pounds.  Anything over 300 produces an error, which is exactly what I got this morning.  That’s why I say it’s not a “real” weigh-in; it was just more or less a test to see if I was under 300, without knowing exactly how much weight I’ve lost.  I would have been pleasantly surprised if that’s what the scale showed.  My last effort was 16 weeks long, and I lost 28 pounds; I’m 10 weeks in, and I would have had to have lost 35 pounds to put me under the 300 mark.  Again, not impossible — but not likely, either.

Now, I have a fear to voice.  I was out running errands just a couple days ago, and had to do more than my usual share of walking and standing around.  By the end of the day, I was in some pain, thanks to arthritis.  Standing in one place bothers me most of all, and there were several occasions where I had to do exactly that.  On the good side, I was able to move around more than I have, previously.  On the bad side, I am heading on vacation in a little more than a month, and the thought of being in pain every day because of being out and active distresses me a bit.  I was hoping I would be further along in weight loss so the burden on my knees wouldn’t be so great.  To add to that, the pain in my left hip appears to be returning.  This is despite being diligent with exercise and strengthening muscles all over my body.

I don’t want to be in pain. I want to enjoy my vacation.  I’m really hoping that some of these issues improve in the next month.  Considering the strides I’ve made in the past 2 1/2 months, I’m sure things will be better by then.

On the frivolous side: I bought myself some blingy flip-flops.  They have a low heel.  I haven’t bought anything with any kind of heel to it in the last couple of years, because of my knees.  I’m only going to wear them for events where a minimum of walking is required.  I admit that I’m a shoe whore, and it just bothers the heck out of me that my weight and my knees have taken me out of wearing cute footwear, so I treated myself.  😀

Week 10: The Beat Goes On

Jun13

Wow, Week 10!  I’m glad to have gotten this far.  While I admit that I’m not overly thrilled with the progress of my try-on pants, I think it’s a good time to remember some of the important changes that have occurred over these past 10 weeks.

This is a huge one: I am satisfied with smaller portions. When I’ve done low carb previously, I’ve often gone with the idea that you can just eat as much as you want, just watch the carbs.  That does work in the early days, but even Dr. Atkins said that at some point, calories matter.  And if you keep eating as much as you want, your stomach remains used to the volume of food, and both calories and carbs can become a problem. While I eventually counted calories, too, I often ate more protein than my body required.  My diet wasn’t varied.

I’ve been very careful to let the appetite suppression part of doing low carb work its magic, and consequently, my stomach has decreased in size.  When I started this effort, a typical breakfast was 3 eggs, 2 ounces of cheese, a sausage patty.  These days, I’m satisfied with 2 eggs and a pat of butter.  And because I’m satisfied, I’m eating less.  Fewer carbs; fewer calories.

I’ve also been careful to add in vegetables and am working on challenging my palette by adding ones I haven’t previously given much of a chance.  Eating a lot of low carb vegetables has also helped keep my stomach happy.

The bottom line is portion control.  I still remember Susan Powter and her enormous pile of potatoes, claiming that you could eat the whole pile without eating too much fat.  Regardless of the diet plan, though, there’s no free pass that just allows you to eat as much of something as you want, if what you want is an abnormally high amount.  At some point, the amount of food you eat will matter.  Your body is designed to adapt to whatever you throw at it nutritionally.  For instance, if you’re on a low carb diet and eat too much protein because you think that eating five hamburgers is okay, you just might end up storing some of that protein as fat.

Eating less has been a natural consequence of my plan.  I have not intentionally cut back on what I eat; I have, instead, paid more attention to what I’m eating.  It’s been a good learning experience.

I have been consistent with exercise. This is one of the things I’m proudest of; I’ve consistently exercised to my goals every single week since starting, with no lapses.   I found it far too easy to drop out of exercise with any number of excuses the last go-round; not this time.  I have made sure to do things that enhance my experience so that I enjoy exercise.  It’s a darned good feeling, at the end of the week, to know I’ve had a perfect workout week.

I’ve kept my attitude up. Okay, there have been a couple of exceptions where I’ve gotten frustrated, but I haven’t let it overwhelm me.  I think that it’s helped my attitude to know that I’ve been doing things right.  And frankly, staying off the scale has likely been the single biggest reason for keeping my attitude on the positive side.  I’ve also tuned in to my body better, instead of relying on external measurements to tell me if I’m successful.  I have to pay closer attention.  Really, even the pants try-on thing isn’t going to give me the same feedback that paying attention to my body will give.

It’s gonna be a good week.  Thanks for reading.

Week 9 — Feeling Good

Jun6

I can hardly believe it’s Week 9.  I’m feeling pretty good this week.  My most previous weight loss effort fizzled at Week 16; well, probably before that, but Week 16 is the last week I blogged about it.  So, I’m past the halfway point of that effort, and have already been exercising for longer than I did in that effort. I’m quite proud of being in a state of mind that isn’t allowing for excuses to get out of exercising.

It’s time for another recap of how I’m feeling; and in a word, it’s “good”.   Any number of things that were bothering me when I first started this effort have either decreased quite a bit or disappeared entirely.  My knees are feeling better, which is a huge thing; this is probably a combination of weather, exercising, and losing weight.  Matters of personal hygiene are easier.  My ability to get up from a seated position is improving greatly.

All of my clothes are fitting better, including underwear.  I have several pairs of shorts that I’ve been living in, and they are to a point of being absolutely disgraceful; they are huge and shapeless.  I really need to get rid of them, but I don’t have enough comfortable alternatives at the moment.  Shirts that were a little on the snug side are now getting loose.   Bathing suits are fitting differently.

Mentally, I feel pretty strong right now.  I’m in a groove.  Eating healthy isn’t an issue, and getting exercise in is a priority.  I’m drinking enough water and getting enough sleep.  These are the things that really need to be in place in order for me to lose weight.

I seem to have hit on the right number of carbs and calories for me to lose, in combo with exercise, at this point in my journey.   I have done some things differently this time around, and they seem to be helping.  Usually, when I do low carb, I depend on cheese, to the point where I might eat six or more ounces of cheese a day.  I’ve reduced the amount of cheese I eat; usually, at most, I might have two ounces.  Before, I relied heavily on protein and fats; and while that’s still an important part of my diet, I am trying to include vegetables.  I find that when I do that, I can reduce the total number of calories I’m taking in, and I need the veggies, anyway.  I have also cut down on fats like salad dressing and mayo; I use less salad dressing on my salads.  Instead of a (bunless) burger with cheese and mayo, I skip the cheese, and might either replace mayo with salsa, or mix a smaller amount with salsa.  It’s the moisture I’m looking for, anyway, since our home burgers tend to be on the dry side.

As for exercise, I’m sticking with cardio, which currently is swimming laps or water jogging, depending on if I’m sharing space in the pool.  I go for 45 minutes a session.  I’m going to continue with cardio, perhaps until the end of the summer, and then at that point will likely start working on strength training in addition to cardio.  For me, though, cardio is it; not only do I need to get my heart in shape, but at least for now, this is my best bet for burning calories and getting stronger at the same time.

Summary: Week 9, and everything seems to be working.  Hurrah!

Pants Try-On — Week 8

Jun3

A quote from back on April 16, when I found the pants I would use for Friday try-ons:

At this point, they barely go over my hips, and there’s plenty of flab blocking any possible buttoning and zipping action.

They button and zip easier each time I try them on.  They are probably at the point, now, where I could leave them on for a few hours and they’d relax enough to wear them comfortably.  (They are jeans.)  Really, the only thing blocking that at the moment is the “slimming panel” that’s in them; if they didn’t have that, I could wear them right now.  (Don’t get me started on why clothes for 300 pound women need a slimming panel.  That’s a bit like putting new windshield wipers on a car with four flat tires. Alas, that’s all my local Walmart had, so I bought them.)

I’ve completed another perfect exercise week.  I’m really feeling good right now.  I’m contemplating moving from four workouts a week to five; I’ll be thinking about this over the weekend and coming to a decision.

I’m two months into this journey and have not weighed myself other than the initial weigh-in.  I still can’t believe how well this is working for me.  I’m glad I did it that way.