Week 28: Rock It

Mar14

I don’t have a loss to report this week. Believe me, it’s driving me nuts, since I’m just a tad OCD by nature and I’m sitting at a 37.8 pound loss. I like even numbers!

 

There’s a Facebook post making its rounds right now; it starts with the perhaps normal (and somewhat callous) assumptions about an overweight walker who’s out walking the track, but the ending is what is getting so much attention. You can read just one of many blog entries about it here:  “To the fatty running on the track this afternoon”: Facebook user pens surprising message to overweight runner

I’ve seen the post come up again and again in recent days, and I’m glad to see it. Maybe it’s getting the word out about a commonly held notion that some people just shouldn’t bother exercising, and how wrong it is to judge.

As someone who used to religiously walk my neighborhood as well as the city park and other locations, and barge in on the free weight room of the local gym, I know that there are people that seem to hold diametrically opposed ideas about fat people. The first is that fat people should exercise because —hey — they’re FAT. The second is that fat people shouldn’t exercise where anyone else can see them.

Say… what?

As you can well imagine, the people who believe both those things simultaneously don’t suffer from an overabundance of logic — or intelligence, for that matter. It’s also usually from people who have no fear of exercise, and simply cannot put themselves in the shoes of someone who has overcome huge mental barriers to just take the first step. That doesn’t even take into account how difficult exercise is for anyone who is out of shape or may not have knowledge about how to start, and that, my friends,  has nothing to do with being overweight.

It has everything to do with human nature. None of us are fond of being judged, even if some of us are more immune to it than others.

I have been that overweight woman, out walking for exercise. At first, I walked the perimeter of my yard, which was on a state highway. When I started walking there, far out in the country, my dog and I would make one lap and go in. Over the course of months to come, I would walk a little bit more each day.

Over time, since I walked about the same time every day, I discovered I had a fan club. People driving by would wave, and some would honk and wave. Believe me, I never expected to have anonymous support from people driving by on the highway.

Then, I moved to town. I started walking my neighborhood, and the same thing happened there. And since they could, some people even stopped to tell me how proud they were of me, and to keep up the good work. These were strangers!

The same held true at the gym, and believe me, that was much tougher. I’d never been in a gym before in my life, but over time I managed to learn strength training, and one of the most intimidating things I ever had to do was walk in that all male weight room full of bubbas and claim my spot for my workouts. I dreaded going in there, but eventually, it got to a point where a few of the men respected me enough to not interrupt my workout or shoot me judgmental looks. To be a woman in an all-male weight room is tough enough; being an overweight middle-aged woman in an all-male weight room was five times as tough.

And yet, there were those who stopped and talked to me, checked in with me, and supported me.

(I haven’t been exercising recently. I hope to get back to the activities I listed here, eventually; it’s not time, yet. But that’s not my point in using myself as an example, anyway.)

What I want to say to you is this: all of us should go that extra mile to encourage anyone at any fitness level. Your simple “way to go!” or “good job!” can erase a dozen critical looks or snide comments. You can choose to be that refreshing reality check for someone who doesn’t realize there are people paying attention, and they understand how tough the challenge is.

My challenge to you, if you are someone who exercises, is not to simply think the things the person in the post mentioned (”You f**king ROCK!”) but to make the effort to let people know that you encourage and respect them, even if it means touching them on the shoulder and perhaps briefly interrupting a workout.

If you don’t currently work out, please support those who do; that jogger in your neighborhood may look fit, now, but they may have come a very long way to get there.

Believe me, your words of encouragement will be appreciated.

Week 27: Six Months!

Mar7

I’m pleased and surprised to report that I’ve been on this diet, now, for six months. I’m still sitting at 37.8 pounds of loss, but today, the bigger success for me is in knowing that I’ve made it this far.

I admit that it’s been kind of a boring couple of weeks, and I was struggling for something to write about, today. After all, when you’re on a program for the long haul and have as much to lose as I do, not every week’s going to bring some startling revelation or awesome progress report.

But maybe that’s good news, too.

I’ve been in mild amounts of pain the last few weeks; I clench my teeth at night, so I’ve been waking up with headaches. My knees have been screaming at me over the long, cold winter we’ve had this year. But even with those and other factors weighing in, I feel better than I did when I started the diet, back in September of last year.

In weeks like this, when progress isn’t apparent on the scale, it’s good to remind myself that there are other non-scale victories. I’m moving easier, my stamina is improving, it’s easier for me to get up and down, my clothes fit better. In the long run, these are the things that matter; that I continue to improve every day.

Sometimes progress comes in noticeable waves; sometimes, in tiny portions, but it’s all cumulative.

 

Week 26: Choosing Public Commitment

Feb28

I’m down a little more this week, bringing my total to 37.8 pounds lost. I’ll claim the full 38 pounds when it’s actually the full 38 pounds. Still — I’m happy to be down just a little bit further. I’m sure I’ll have a pic of another overweight animal, or a toddler, next week. 😉

 

I’m at a point in my weight loss that has, in the past, been a test to my commitment. I’ve lost a nice amount of weight successfully, but it’s not noticeable enough for people to remark on it.

Now, this certainly isn’t unique to me. I think everyone who is in the process of losing weight experiences this. It’s when you’re teetering on that point of looking different enough that people overcome their own doubts enough to ask if you’re losing weight. It’s very possible that it requires a larger percentage of weight loss for the obese, because I’m well aware most people are very hesitant to say something to an obese person — and be wrong. It can be as much of a social faux pas as asking a woman if she’s pregnant; if she is, she’ll be glad you asked. If not… you’ve probably hurt her feelings and made her wonder why you asked.

Up until the point when people notice a person’s weight loss efforts on their own, that person is engaged in a private effort. If I were not so public about my weight loss, those I see often would likely not mention anything to me. Believe me, many an obese person who commits to weight loss is hesitant to share publicly that they’re working on weight loss, for fear of judgment… and one other thing.

Fear of failure.

You see, as long as you keep your weight loss efforts private, and no one has acknowledged that loss yet, you’re in the unique position of being able to turn back before people know. Maybe they suspect, but as long as they don’t say anything, you can remain in a mindset where you can safely fail without feeling public pressure over it. It means you can choose to fail privately — for whatever reasons you might choose that.

That moment of public acknowledgment is a turning point that makes it five times more difficult to go backwards. Mind you, it feels good to have your efforts recognized; but it brings with it pressure to succeed, and unfortunately, a vast number of opinions from others on how to do exactly that, even if you’ve obviously had a certain amount of success with your own methods.

Something vastly personal may become a topic of conversation every time you see someone. It’s an accountability that didn’t exist when no one knew you were trying to lose weight. But it’s also pressure, and in some ways, it’s acknowledgment that you somehow weren’t good enough, before. So many see obesity as a character flaw, that publicly committing to weight loss is like admitting you’ve been a selfish slob… which is usually far from the truth. Where a moderately overweight person also has fears of that public commitment, an obese person has the double whammy of excess weight somehow being an indicator of poor character.

This is exactly why I chose to commit publicly from the first pound lost. Believe me, it’s scary as hell, facing this particular albatross, but I’ve gotten to that public commitment phase before, and allowed myself to fail privately so that I wouldn’t be doing it publicly.

While every individual’s weight loss journey is unique, looking at methods to insure your success in the long run, and figuring out creative ways to deal with the stresses that have prevented success previously, must be part of an overall weight loss plan.

Week 25: Cabin Fever

Feb21

I’m down an additional .4 lb from last week’s weigh-in; that’s not enough to tip my weight ticker, but it’s enough to say I’ve legitimately lost 37 pounds, now; 37.2, in fact. I’m thankful for every small bit. While losing the equivalent of two sticks of butter won’t make a difference in how my clothes fit, all that adds up.

I don’t have much in the way of a report this week, or even words of wisdom; some weeks, that’s just how it is. I don’t have any particular frustrations I’m dealing with (yay!) or victories I can claim, other than the simple fact that I’m still here, still working on losing weight and regaining health, still plugging along — which is a victory of sorts, and a big one. Each day that I can keep at this effort is a victory.

I’m in normal springtime lust mode. My ready-for-spring brain is calculating how many pounds I can lose before warm weather sets in, and what I’ll be able to wear this year. It seems like I have clothes in every size, just waiting for me to be able to fit into them, again — and if I’m lucky, I’ll be the right size in the right season. If the clothes are still in style, it’ll be like winning the lottery.

Well, maybe not quite like winning the lottery, but close enough.

That’s a gift I gave to myself this year. Last year, at this time, I knew I was likely gaining weight. I wasn’t making an effort to lose, and the cute clothes I’d bought for the previous summer weren’t fitting. I secretly dreaded warm weather, because that meant shorts, and bathing suits, and bare arms; not that I’m ever crazy about those thing as overweight as I am, but I place my personal comfort over style and will wear them, anyway. But when I’m not in weight loss mode, I feel even more mortified about wearing these things than I normally do.

This year, even though I will still be bigger than two summers ago, even though those cute clothes probably still won’t fit, and even though I will still be mortified to be bearing my flab to the world, I know inside that I’m making the effort to improve. That, alone, is a weight off my shoulders.

 

 

Week 24: Ten Percent

Feb14

Hooray! I’ve reached a great goal. I’ve achieved losing 37 pounds, which is 10% of my body weight. (Technically, I’m sitting at 36.8, but I already had this blog written, so please forgive me the .2 lb. 😉 )

I have lots of mini goals along the way to keep me motivated, but this is one of the incremental goals that I’ve been looking forward to for a while.

There are a ton of health benefits tied to losing just 10% of your body weight, which is an achievable goal for just about anyone. Among them are lower cholesterol, lower risks for heart disease, type II diabetes, and some kinds of cancer. Visceral fat, the fat that surrounds your internal organs, reduces. All kinds of good stuff is going on inside.

Those are fantastic reasons to embark on a healthy weight loss plan, but they’re also ones that you probably don’t know how your risks have changed unless you visit a doctor; they’re more or less hidden. They’re important, but easily forgotten on the days when weight loss just seems like too great of a challenge.

Biscuit, 37 lb. shelter kitty

The more obvious changes, for me, include improvement in a lot of things, particularly ease of movement. Go ahead and find something that weighs roughly 37 pounds; maybe it’s your dog, a small child, or Biscuit, the 37 pound cat in the included pic. Or, imagine carrying around a concrete block; they tend to weigh around 35 pounds, but that’s close enough.

Then, after you’ve chosen your 37 pound thing, pick it up and carry it around with you. Carry it to the kitchen. Up the stairs. Out to your car. Walk around your favorite discount store with it. Heck, strap it on your back while you’re mowing the lawn, or let it sit on your lap while you’re watching tv. Don’t ever set it down; carry it around like it’s part of you. That trip to the fridge for a snack? Concrete block.

How soon will you be tired of carrying your 37 pound thing around with you? Pretty quickly, I imagine.

If you’re in the process of losing weight and you’re also getting frustrated because you don’t think you’ve lost all that much, pick something similar in weight to your current weight loss and carry it around with you. Even carrying around 5 pounds will get irritating after a while, and maybe you’ll realize that even losing 5 pounds has been a bigger improvement than you originally thought.

A little over five months ago, my 37 pound thing was following me around everywhere; into the shower, to the store, to client meetings, into the dressing room at the clothing store. I walked with it, slept with it, ate with it, bathed with it, watched movies with it, visited friends and relatives with it.

I’m glad it’s gone. My lungs work better, my knees are happier, my back is thankful. My clothes fit better; even my shoes fit better. There’s more room between the steering wheel and my body. I can reach my own feet easier. I can stand and move around for longer periods of time. It’s just easier for me to move, to sit, to stand, to do everything — without that 37 pounds.

While my 10% goal is probably a lot higher than your 10% goal, it was still relatively painless to achieve. It’s a nice marker, an encouragement for greater progress, and it helps me look forward to getting that next 10% off, because the improvements will be even greater.

Week 23: Impatience

Feb7

First things, first: I showed a small loss this week; .6 lbs, which is enough to tip my ticker over to (a rounded up) 36 pounds, but I’m not claiming that here until it’s the full 36 pounds. I’m sitting at 35.6 pounds lost, now, and am happy to be in a loss situation, even if my new loss amount is the rough equivalent of being slightly more than two sticks of butter. 😉 It’s small, but it will add up.

I’ve had a few things floating around my brain this last week; it was the 25th anniversary of my father’s death a few days ago, and as I’ve written before, I still deal with damage left from that toxic relationship — the destructive inner voice I need to quiet on occasion was named for him. (When I address my ‘inner Walt’, that’s who I’m talking about.)

While I haven’t had to deal with that voice much, lately, I constantly deal with my own impatience. I set a goal of losing a total of 100 pounds by the end of this year, and I’m already behind on that number. Plus, I’ve lost weight faster in the past, and while I might be thankful to be losing weight, I really do honestly wish it were faster. Slogging along for the occasional half a pound of loss gets irritating, especially when it took me all of a year to gain that weight.

While these thoughts may not be from my inner Walt, they’re demons that need exorcising, nonetheless.

I saw, recently, that there are open auditions for the ABC show Extreme Weight Loss near me in just a few weeks. I’ve seen this show, and I like how the trainer approaches each person as a whole person, rather than pitting a number of overweight people against each other, like The Biggest Loser. (Comments on that in a moment.) I seriously considered going to the open auditions, and even read up on the application for it. One of the qualifications is that you must need to lose at least half your body weight, and I certainly qualify, there.

I’ve mulled it over — and I’m still mulling it over, but one of the big reasons the whole idea appeals to me is because the goal is to lose half your body weight in a year’s time. That would mean losing somewhere in the neighborhood of 165 pounds or so in 12 months. Is that possible? Well, yes — assuming any medical issues are resolved, including metabolic issues and things like needing knee replacement, which would likely disqualify me, because I have to be careful about impact exercise.

It appeals to my impatience. And it’s for that reason that I’ll likely not go.

In 2003, when I started a journey that eventually led to 140 pounds loss, I lost most of that weight in the first year. Believe me, it was far from easy; it took a lot of hard work, sticking to my diet, and extreme amounts of cardio and strength training to lose that weight. Losing weight fast is addictive; seeing a smaller than expected loss, or no loss at all, can be devastating. It can make you lose sight of the end goal, and compromise logical thought.

That’s when we tend to hurt ourselves; when we lose sight of the goal. There’s a difference between determination and stupidity. I’ll admit I’ve been stupid plenty of times in the name of losing weight, which is probably the biggest reason I became obese in the first place.

I am fortunate to be surrounded by a number of wonderful women who also are working hard to lose weight; the vast majority of them are a lot closer to a healthy weight than I am. Although they have far less weight to lose, and they are dedicated to exercise (whereas I currently am dealing with a number of issues that prohibit it for the time being), we share one commonality: they also struggle with small or no losses. I see them struggle with trying to overcome plateaus, adjusting their diets to help them, working on strength training and cardio, and despite those factors, they lose slowly or not at all.

It’s not just me. It’s an easy thing to want to compartmentalize my own situation by classifying myself as being different from them because of medical circumstances, morbid obesity, etc. But the fact of the matter is that most women struggle with this. I am not alone. Most of us are impatient and want results now.

Impatience can be a motivator, but we all have to work on making sure it’s not what undoes our hard work.

 

For now, at least in my current mindset, I think it’s a good idea to set the Extreme Weight Loss auditions to the side. In the same vein, though, I’d like to speak briefly about The Biggest Loser, which is a show I used to watch religiously when it first came on the air. Just this past week, they awarded a new winner, a woman who lost 155 pounds — but fell under heavy criticism for being too thin.

Just by the numbers, which I understand place her ending BMI at 17.5 and therefore underweight, this sounds as if she intentionally overshot a healthy weight range. Mind you, I don’t put a lot of stock in BMI, or even healthy weight ranges; and I don’t possess the ability to look at someone and determine their overall health.

That aside, I stopped watching The Biggest Loser because I felt they lost sight of helping people create better lives, and I figured that eventually this exact situation would present itself. While it’s possible that this season’s winner honestly wanted to be 105 pounds, I think it’s more likely that in the name of winning, she purposely overshot the healthy goal. This probably happens every season, but this particular one is drawing a lot more attention because most winners probably just come close to what’s considered a healthier, normal weight, without exceeding it to this degree.

While many have condemned this season’s winner for what they see as carrying weight loss too far, I see it as the byproduct of the show’s process. In the name of helping people choose healthier lives, they encourage the idea that you must lose weight to succeed, regardless of the personal cost. There have been far too many rumors of weight manipulations by contestants, such as overloading with water or dehydrating themselves, to not think at least some of these rumors bear some truth.

It’s great to see before and after photos of those who have been successful with weight loss, and I think most people are intrigued by those who manage to lose great amounts of weight. I am, as well. But no matter the method, it shouldn’t be at the risk of anyone’s health; it should be to promote it.

Week 22: Potholes

Jan31

Potholes: sometimes you can drive around them, and other times, they jolt you unexpectedly and you just hope you haven’t caused any damage. That’s pretty much been a summary of this past week.

Last Friday, when I wrote my last blog, I was going strong and doing everything right, and looking forward to the weekend, when I knew I’d hit my biggest challenge. And I did — but it wasn’t the challenge of drinking enough water; it was sickness. I’ve had something like a mild flu since then, and am recovering, but being sick was definitely a pothole I didn’t see coming, and it derailed my good intentions for continuing the streak I had going.

These things happen. The good news is that I didn’t use it as an excuse to load up on comfort foods and just go off plan for the week; if anything, I ate less than normal, since I had very little appetite. But I also drank a lot less water than normal, and didn’t follow through with taking supplements; my main focus was just functioning.

Today, I’m close to being back to normal, and I’m glad I didn’t stray far from my plan while sick. I made sure that cough syrup was sugar free, as well as cough drops, so I didn’t deviate, even in medication, and while some of you may be thinking “oh, that’s just carrying things too far!”, I thought it was a great idea.

When I’m sick, I’m at my most vulnerable; everything is an effort, so if I finally want food, I’ll eat what’s easily available, regardless of whether it’s on plan. Crackers, for instance. A couple of mornings, I didn’t want to go through the effort of making breakfast and was just mildly hungry, anyway, but if crackers had been available, I probably would have just grabbed a few — but crackers aren’t on my plan. I love them. I have a hard time not eating ALL of them.

Now that I’m feeling better, I’m thankful to not have to also be facing food control issues, often easily triggered by eating off plan while sick. While I didn’t lose weight this week, I’m currently at my low weight, and might break through that in the next few days, now that my body is recovering from the shock of being sick.

While I still have to get back to a regimen of doing everything right, I’m facing a lot less than I could have been. Getting in the habit of eating the right things is a lot tougher than things like drinking enough water. I’ll take it!

Week 21: GIGO

Jan24

GIGO is an acronym that was often used in the computing world years ago; it stands for Garbage In, Garbage Out — essentially, give a computer garbage data, and in return, the information it produces will also be garbage. The same holds true for our bodies.

Put garbage into them, and you can expect no less than garbage out. You can’t expect positive returns from your body, whether it’s in the form of better health, weight loss, improvement in muscle tone, if you aren’t willing to put in the work necessary for the outcome you want. Sure, there are short cuts, but they’re never long lasting; success comes with work.

I have to remind myself of this constantly. Recently, I’ve failed at drinking enough water; while I did manage a loss last week, that doesn’t mean that I necessarily did everything right to arrive at that loss — or that I might not have experienced better loss in previous weeks if I’d just stuck to my own tenet of making sure I follow basic rules with my weight loss.

Those rules include eating the right way for my body, drinking enough water, taking my vitamins and medications correctly, and getting enough sleep. (An aside: I am a big believer in exercise; if you’ve happened on to this blog and think “oh, yay, someone losing weight and it doesn’t include pesky exercise!”, think again. It’s just currently not part of my regimen.) If I don’t follow those basic rules, I might see some improvements, but I feel better and function better (and lose weight better!) when I’m consistently doing all of those things. I might be able to get along for a while without drinking enough water or ignoring those vitamins, but not forever.

In short: if I’m not willing to do the right things, I can’t respect good results.

I have no loss to report, this week, but you likely already figured that out: if there’s no photo with the blog, there’s no weight loss. I’m close, but not close enough. While I’m on Day 5 of doing everything right, my biggest problems are on the weekends; the facts are, I don’t like to drink a ton of water. It’s 13 degrees out this morning, and the least appealing thing I can think of, with a body that runs on the cold side to begin with, is to drink cold water… 170 ounces of it. By the way, a gallon of water is 128 ounces, so yes, I drink well over a gallon a day.

In the grand scheme of things, drinking water is one of the easiest things you can do to aid in weight loss. It’s not hard to come by; it’s very inexpensive; it’s simple to do. It doesn’t require special equipment. People don’t even think you’re weird if you’re drinking water — it’s socially acceptable. And yet, when the weekend comes, the last thing I want to keep track of is how much water I’m drinking, which is absolutely silly.

The same holds true for things like taking vitamins, supplements, and medications correctly. By correctly, I mean following the recommendations for taking them. An example would be one of my thyroid medications that should be taken 30 to 60 minutes before a meal. That helps with absorption. But so often, in the past, I’ve taken it with a meal — which likely means I wasn’t getting the full benefit of that dose. There are some vitamins that shouldn’t be taken in close proximity to certain medications; and while it might seem an inconvenience to work out the timing of these things, that’s really all it is — an inconvenience.

Letting incredibly simple things hold me back from progress because they’re inconvenient is, well, stupid. There are certainly much more difficult challenges to weight loss that are ahead; mastery of the easy things must be in place before those challenges come.

Start by doing the simplest of things right.

Week 20: The Reality for Serial Dieters

Jan17

A calorie is a calorie is a calorie. If you take in less calories than your body expends, you lose weight. Simple!

How many times have you heard or read similar statements? How many times have well-meaning friends, family, or acquaintances said these words to you? I know I’ve heard them many times in my life — and years ago, I actually believed them.

For those of us who have made numerous efforts at weight loss over the course of our lives, the answer isn’t quite so easy. For a normal person of young adult age who has no health or genetic predispositions, the statement might be true. But for many of us, there are complicated factors that effect our ability to lose weight.

Yes, a calorie is a scientific unit of measure, but that doesn’t mean we all burn that fuel the same way, much like vehicles don’t burn fuel at the same rate. Take that average young adult and add in health and/or genetic issues, and that person’s ability to burn energy changes. I think we all know this; we’ve all heard the talk of complicating factors, such as PCOS, thyroid disease, and many more. Two women of the same age, height, and weight may very well expend completely different amounts of energy (and therefore, fuel — calories) to perform identical tasks.

Let me add another: some studies are now showing that once you lose weight, your body changes; it becomes more efficient and burns less calories to do the same tasks. Because it runs more efficiently, it requires less fuel. Give it too much fuel, and that fuel is stored… as fat. Conversely, in order to lose fat, greater effort or restriction (or both) is required in order to lose that fat. If either of the women in our example has dieted before, the chances of them having greater difficulty losing weight increase.

From the New York Times comes mention of a Columbia University study that reveals interesting insight to the changes dieters go through.

 Eventually, the Columbia subjects are placed on liquid diets of 800 calories a day until they lose 10 percent of their body weight. Once they reach the goal, they are subjected to another round of intensive testing as they try to maintain the new weight. The data generated by these experiments suggest that once a person loses about 10 percent of body weight, he or she is metabolically different than a similar-size person who is naturally the same weight.

The research shows that the changes that occur after weight loss translate to a huge caloric disadvantage of about 250 to 400 calories. For instance, one woman who entered the Columbia studies at 230 pounds was eating about 3,000 calories to maintain that weight. Once she dropped to 190 pounds, losing 17 percent of her body weight, metabolic studies determined that she needed about 2,300 daily calories to maintain the new lower weight. That may sound like plenty, but the typical 30-year-old 190-pound woman can consume about 2,600 calories to maintain her weight — 300 more calories than the woman who dieted to get there.

Scientists are still learning why a weight-reduced body behaves so differently from a similar-size body that has not dieted. Muscle biopsies taken before, during and after weight loss show that once a person drops weight, their muscle fibers undergo a transformation, making them more like highly efficient “slow twitch” muscle fibers. A result is that after losing weight, your muscles burn 20 to 25 percent fewer calories during everyday activity and moderate aerobic exercise than those of a person who is naturally at the same weight. That means a dieter who thinks she is burning 200 calories during a brisk half-hour walk is probably using closer to 150 to 160 calories.

Read the entire article: The Fat Trap

 

You can call this a metabolic slowdown of sorts, but the important takeaway from this is that if you have dieted before, you have to plan for subsequent attempts to be more difficult, because you must eat less and exercise more to produce the same result.

The great technological tools we have at our disposal may actually make this more difficult, because these sorts of factors aren’t accounted for. If you strap on a heart rate monitor for exercise, it will create a number of (suggested) calories burned based on the data you entered. Age + weight + height + heart rate should equal a certain range of burned calories. The same holds true for entering in information to a diet-tracking website or software: it works on calculations based on a norm, dependent on the information you enter.

Without getting too technical about these calculations, those of us with such issues need to consider that if we don’t lose weight based on the suggested calculations, it’s likely because they’re too high and need to be adjusted downward until we can successfully lose weight or see our desired results.

An example: I just now searched for an online calculator that would tell me how many calories I need to maintain my current weight. The result? 4,623 calories daily. Another said 3,467 calories, and the lowest reported 2200 calories.

I can assure you that if I ate at any of those suggested levels, even the lowest, I would gain weight — and probably a lot of it. At my current weight, I generally eat under 1400 calories a day. (I also chiefly eat low carb, but that’s another subject that I’m not touching on today.)

Every metabolic issue you have is a strike against you, and is going to shave calories off that number required to maintain where you are, right now, dietary methods aside.

I don’t say this to upset anyone; instead, I hope what it does is open your eyes to understanding that if you want results, you have to be willing to experiment with how your body handles fuel (food). Don’t rely on calculations, whether they’re for calories burned in exercise or daily caloric limitations. Be willing to chart your numbers and take some general notes on what happens when you eat at certain levels; experiment. Do not accept the numbers you’re given by computer-generated results; they are only a guideline. Our bodies are individual, and the computer-generated numbers are created for a norm which may not apply to us. Still, you can use these numbers as an indicator of what works and what doesn’t.

The above article is an interesting one, in that it speculates on many causes as to why repeat dieters cannot successfully keep weight off, if they’re able to successfully lose it in the first place. In some ways, it’s a depressing read, but in my opinion, knowing what you’re up against helps you understand the process. To really be successful at weight loss, you have to be willing to completely embrace your body’s method of working, but more importantly, you must change how you think. If you don’t do the research, you’re more likely to throw your hands up in frustration and give up.

If you know the challenges you face beforehand and can accept them, you’re much less likely to reach a level of frustration. You can quiet that inner voice that tells you to just give up. You stand a chance of success.

 

Jimmy, the 35 lb. beagle

Speaking of success, I’m happy to report a change in my stats; I’m now 35 pounds down. I passed two small milestones in those three pounds, as well.

The firsts was passing by 338. Back in 2003, I saw 338 on the scale when I first start a low carb diet. I’d dieted for several weeks, but didn’t know my weight because the scale I had was incapable of reading my actual weight. The first number I saw was 338. The journey that started with 338 ended at 197.5 — a loss of 140.5 pounds.

The second milestone, 337, was the weight I was at when I started a weight loss effort before my current one. During that journey, I lost 70 pounds.

While these might come across as depressing, since I started this effort at my highest recorded weight ever, I look at it as encouragement; I was able to lose great amounts of weight both times. I am smarter, now. I am determined to beat both losses… possibly combined. I’m now in territory I’ve been in, before.

I’m in a good place, right now, and looking forward to the next weight milestone, which is just two pounds away.

Week 19: Self-Acceptance

Jan10

Self-acceptance may be one of the biggest issues women deal with, even if they are not overweight. Being overweight — even slightly — seems to amplify this. As women, we really do need to find ways to be kinder to ourselves.

Unfortunately, I think social media has made this even worse.

Just this morning, I watched a great video on a young man who decided to lose 130 pounds and surprise his parents. (You can see the video on YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b4Gve_PaK4) The clip aired originally on NBC, and it’s a great story; see it here: http://www.today.com/health/son-surprises-parents-130-pound-weight-loss-2D11876422.

I don’t care how you go about losing 130 pounds — it’s a battle, and this young man did it through diet and exercise alone. I found the video of his parents seeing him for the first time, not knowing about his weight loss, extremely touching; I think most of us that have had weight issues would not only understand the excitement, but would want to commend him for his hard work.

Enter the trolls in the YouTube comment section, though, who made nasty remarks about his mother’s weight, and about him, as well. Sure, it’s easy enough to do on the internet; if you’re reading this blog, chances are you’ve seen innumerable instances of people being cruel, with no accountability. Simply put, the anonymity of the internet allows people to act like jerks, with few or no consequences, and often, plenty of reinforcement from other jerks. The YouTube video comments are actually quite mild, compared to other instances I’ve seen of fat shaming.

Most of us have seen some version of body shaming in person, as well. Someone is too short, too tall, too pretty, too ugly, too blond, too something. It’s as if we have to quantify other people in some hopes of finding fault — maybe to make ourselves feel better. The thing is, everyone who has been a victim of body shaming knows it’s wrong. Fat shaming often seems to carry with it judgments based solely on appearance. Because, you know, those who fat shame have the special ability to determine a person’s overall health, eating habits, choices, activity level, and family history, just by looking at someone. Let’s just fire all the doctors and hire these folks!

I’ve been a victim of fat shaming. Sometimes, it’s blatant; sometimes it’s subtle and comes from people close to me, including family members. For the most part, I ignore it; when it comes from strangers, I don’t value their opinions of me enough to care. It stings more when it comes from friends or family members, but I usually chalk it up to them not being aware that their comments hurt. Regardless, it doesn’t drag me down when someone says or does something that targets my obesity, but it took decades of desensitizing myself to it to reach that point. Sometimes, if I’m feeling fragile, it still bothers me.

I’m fat. I know I’m fat, and having someone reinforce that isn’t exactly big news. (BIG NEWS! Get it? *insert eye roll here*) Attempting to shame me to make you feel better just illustrates that you have issues that likely make you an unhappy person.

Regardless, this blog entry is more about fat shaming ourselves. When we devalue ourselves because we compare ourselves to an unattainable standard, that’s when the real damage occurs. It evolves into our self-talk. It becomes evident when someone gives us a compliment, and we’re automatically suspicious of the person’s sincerity. We make excuses for not already being the person we think people believe we should be. A friend of mine often will address this issue by saying “don’t talk about my friend this way!” She’s right; if we wouldn’t talk about someone else that way, why do we talk about ourselves that way?

We are apologetic and make fat jokes about ourselves, as if buffering ourselves against rejection before it even happens. We take ourselves out of situations that might be embarrassing, even if it’s something we truly wanted to do. We judge ourselves more harshly than anyone else. We tell ourselves on a daily basis that we’re somehow not good enough.

I do this — a lot. I recently had the opportunity to see friends that I hadn’t seen face to face in decades. These are people who I “see” on Facebook, and I often have current photos of myself posted, so why on earth did I feel the need to make apologetic comments about my own weight before seeing them? I doubt it made any difference at all to them.

It’s quite the conflict, reminding yourself to love and accept yourself as you are, today, when you’re also essentially trying to change who you are — whether it’s through weight loss, just getting healthier, or changing an old habit. Perhaps it’s because in my mind, “change” means a rejection of the state before the change. It means that something wasn’t good enough about the situation, and therefore, change was required.

I freely admit that I need a lot of work in this regard. That’s where most of my inner voice gets its critical tone: you must change because you are a failure.

I have to reject that thinking, and change it to you choose to change because you are heading toward something better. Perhaps it means the same thing at its core, but it comes from a place of choice rather than shame. Body shaming, regardless of whether it comes from ourselves or someone else, serves no purpose other than to degrade.

 

Good news: my last loss update was 31.8 pounds, and I’m pleased to say that this morning, I’ve now lost 32.2 pounds. While that’s not enough to change my public stats, believe me, I am thrilled to finally see a loss after the holidays.

This also puts me even with my previous recorded high weight. I phrase it that way, because I’d actually dieted for a couple weeks before I lost enough weight for the scales I had then to register, and that number was 338. I’m at 338.8 this morning. While it might be a dubious accomplishment to meet my previous high weight, I also see this as a nice mini milestone; I lost from 338 to 197.5, for a total of 140.5 pounds lost. It’s encouraging to me to remember that I did that, once. I’m smarter, now — and I intend to surpass that mark.

I have a couple other small milestones that happen in the next few pounds of loss, and I’m looking forward to scooting right on by them, as well. Maybe next week!