I’m Still Standing

I haven’t lost weight in the last month or so — I’m still just above my low — but something different is going on.

I’m getting muscle tone back. The more I walk, the more confident I feel; the muscles in my legs and core are getting stronger. I am more sure-footed. And while I may not be losing weight, I’m losing inches; more clothes are going in the sell/donate pile, and I am right on the verge of dropping out of wearing plus-size clothing. Well — from the waist up, anyway, and a girl’s got to start somewhere!

No jumping to conclusions, people!

I really noticed this last week, when I took my mother to an annual appointment that happens to be in a small nearby hospital. I’ve had to cop out of walking in with her, before, because I felt the walk was too far for me. I felt absolutely horrible once because she fell in the hallway after leaving her appointment; she hit her head and ended up in the emergency room. I should have been there to keep her from falling.

This time, I walked back with her, and then she told me she forgot something in the car, so I trotted out to the parking lot and back, and then walked her to the appointment location, further in the hospital. She seemed a bit off-balance, but to me, the walk was no longer a big deal at all. My walking abilities used to be close to what she is, now, and she’s nearly 30 years my senior.

I joked with someone, recently, when they said they were growing old; I said I’m aging in reverse — I’m getting younger! Instead of my abilities leaving me, they’re coming back. Because I can go out and do more things, I find myself wanting to get out and do more things. And why not enjoy these new-to-me-once-again times?

Yesterday morning, I took my mother on a “field trip” to a local state park. She loves the outdoors even more than I do, and we had a great time; I packed a lunch, and we meandered around a bit. We sat lakeside and enjoyed the breeze on our faces, and I checked out a campsite we plan on camping at in the near future. Later yesterday evening, I wore a new top, and met my friends for dinner, wearing wedge heels that I bought last year but still felt too unstable to wear. I couldn’t walk down the hallway in them, then. Now? They’re comfy and easy!

This comes down to appreciating these changes; why sit inside on a beautiful day, if I don’t have to? Why merely choose to exist, when I can do so much more? At this point, my health starts to self-perpetuate: the more I do, the more I want to do, and nothing is going to stop me, now.


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