I (Don’t) Like Big Buts

[As a follow-up to last week, I’ll state quickly that my blood tests came back in excellent range, and I’ll be testing in another couple of weeks to see if changes we’re trying will make a difference. I am also now 182.8 pounds down and closing in on my next short goal.]


Like big butts? I’ll be honest. I don’t like big buts. Notice the difference?

The word but has stopped me from doing a lot of things over the years. I might have said it, and if not, I certainly meant it. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.

I’d go to that reunion, but I can’t lose 100 pounds in less than a month, so I think I’ll skip it. (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this one; just pick whatever amount of weight and substitute it in.) I can’t possibly walk around downtown without a lot of pain, but I’d hold you back, so I won’t go.

Or the reverse: “Gosh, you look great!” “Thanks, but I still have a long way to go.” (Oh, yep, I’ve said exactly that, far too many times.)

But, but, but… I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stood in my own way and sabotaged myself with a stupid 3-letter word. BUT.

Always fight. Keep fighting. Maybe you’ll get a shrubbery out of the deal.

Guess what? I’m going to a high school alumni band reunion event in less than a month. Am I at my high school weight? Oh heck, no, and I seriously doubt few there actually are. So what? I wasn’t all that popular in high school, anyway, so — take me as I am, or it’s your loss. I am a work in progress. I no longer make apologies. Apologizing for who I am is just plain silly.

I used to not be able to walk far at all, so I felt horrible about holding other people back. Instead of letting that get me down, I worked on it. At first, I made compromises; my husband and I used a travel wheelchair so we could still go do the things we wanted without worrying about physical limitations. I graduated to planning out my trips so I’d know, for sure, I’d be able to handle it. Now, I can get around pretty darned well, even though I’ll have knee replacement surgery in 32 days. I’ll be damned if I stand in my own way and hold myself down.

Make no mistake. I had to fight hard to get where I am. I didn’t let but stand in my way. Doing the best you can do in any situation is never a compromise; giving up because you don’t want to face it? That’s not even a compromise.

I was not always a fighter. I have had to learn to dig down and find the strength to push forward, to find a way to make things work instead of letting myself down with a “but”.

Because, quite honestly, there’s always a “but” waiting to drag you down.

But is an excuse. It’s self-sabotage. It’s taking the easy way out, most of the time. But isn’t the option of someone willing to fight and keep fighting until they get what they’re after.

And I will finally get what I’m after. No ifs, ands, or… well, you know. 😉

Keep fighting, friends. That’s what I’m gonna do.


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